SOUTHLAND TALES (*1/2) - Starring Dwayne Johnson, Seann William Scott, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Justin Timberlake, Mandy Moore, Miranda Richardson, Jon Lovitz, Wallace Shawn, Nora Dunn, Amy Poehler, Holmes Osborne, John Larroquette, Bai Ling, Cheri Oteri, Will Sasso, Christopher Lambert, Kevin Smith, Wood Harris, Lou Taylor Pucci, Curtis Armstrong, Sab Shimono, Beth Grant, Joe Campana, Michelle Durrett, Jill Ritchie and Zelda Rubenstein.
Written & Directed by Richard Kelly.
Ebert once said of Death to Smoochy, it take truly talented people to make a movie this bad. That quote came to me during the movie's only brilliant scene, when war vet Justin Timberlake takes a hallucinegenic and start lip-syncing to The Killers' "All the Things That I Have Done." If the writer/director had more scenes like that, and had cut an hour of running time, this might have been a good movie.
The one scene happens at the 1-hour-15 mark, and that's only halfway through. It's staggering that the final cut was two hours and thirty minutes and adds up to so little.
I won't deny there's a lot going on. Kelly has about 50 ideas and he's trying to smash them all into one picture. We get several minutes of narrated set-up to understand this slightly futuristic 2008, but the deeper we go in, the mroe the story tries to take shape, the less interesting it becomes. Two-thirds through the movie is not the time to start introducing rifts in the time-space continuum. All that does is signal to the viewers that things are going to find a way to get even more confusing and incoherent.
The movie bounces around from sci-fi to comedy to thriller to satire, commenting on politics, music, corporate greed, movies, but rambling in its commentary. This might have worked better as a 600-page book. As a film, it takes the largest, wackiest cast in years and squanders them.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale - DVD Review
IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE (*1/2) - Starring Jason Statham, Leelee Sobieski, Burt Reynolds, Ray Liotta, John Rhys-Davies, Ron Perlman, Claire Forlani, Matthew Lillard, Kristanna Loken, Brian White and Will Sanderson.
Written by Doug Taylor & Jason Rappaport.
Directed by Uwe Boll.
This is Uwe Boll's Lord of the Rings rip-off. It reminds me of the fantasy flicks from the late 1970's / early 1980's, with people of various accents traipsing through forests, fighting cheesy magicians and occasioanlly battling orc-like creatures. The orc rip-offs here are called Krug, and they walk like apes, grunt like guys in ape suits, but at least their masks look like they're from the planet Tatooine. How dumb are they? They light themselves on fire to get launched in a catapult.
Jason Statham's career seems above being in this kind of thing, but maybe he saw this as the only chance he'd ever get to do a period piece. He plays a farmer named Farmer, who just wants to grow fake turnips and be left alone with his idyllic family. The Krug invade at the behest of an evil magician played by Ray Liotta as part of a plan by a weaselly prince (Scooby Doo's Matthew Lillard) to get his uncle's throne. I'm pretty sure that's the plot, but Boll's not known for fluid story structure.
This movie is no different from my Boll rule. Give me the same cast and basic plot and I could still make a better movie. It'd be a challenge, given that Statham, Lillard, Liotta, Reynolds, etc., are such modern actors, but I could do it. Burt Reynolds looks the whole time like he wishes he were anywhere else.
Boll's slowly improving with each movie. House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark were the madir films of their years, but BloodRayne was not the worst movie of 2006 and I doubt this will end up being the worst movie of 2008. At this rate, by 2058 he'll make a movie I could honestly recommend.
Written by Doug Taylor & Jason Rappaport.
Directed by Uwe Boll.
This is Uwe Boll's Lord of the Rings rip-off. It reminds me of the fantasy flicks from the late 1970's / early 1980's, with people of various accents traipsing through forests, fighting cheesy magicians and occasioanlly battling orc-like creatures. The orc rip-offs here are called Krug, and they walk like apes, grunt like guys in ape suits, but at least their masks look like they're from the planet Tatooine. How dumb are they? They light themselves on fire to get launched in a catapult.
Jason Statham's career seems above being in this kind of thing, but maybe he saw this as the only chance he'd ever get to do a period piece. He plays a farmer named Farmer, who just wants to grow fake turnips and be left alone with his idyllic family. The Krug invade at the behest of an evil magician played by Ray Liotta as part of a plan by a weaselly prince (Scooby Doo's Matthew Lillard) to get his uncle's throne. I'm pretty sure that's the plot, but Boll's not known for fluid story structure.
This movie is no different from my Boll rule. Give me the same cast and basic plot and I could still make a better movie. It'd be a challenge, given that Statham, Lillard, Liotta, Reynolds, etc., are such modern actors, but I could do it. Burt Reynolds looks the whole time like he wishes he were anywhere else.
Boll's slowly improving with each movie. House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark were the madir films of their years, but BloodRayne was not the worst movie of 2006 and I doubt this will end up being the worst movie of 2008. At this rate, by 2058 he'll make a movie I could honestly recommend.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
NBA end-of-season awards
If I Were Voting...
NBA MVP
1. Kobe Bryant (Lakers) - Going by his on-court displays, he is the best player in the game today, and he has never won this award. Think about that. It was his sheer force of will that kept the Lakers above .500 until the Pau Gasol trade that suddenly made them the favorites to win the Western Conference. No one is better in the clutch, and he truly has learned how to get his teammates involved. (And he's probably my favorite player to hate.)
2. Kevin Garnett (Celtics) - You know those "Where I remember happens" ads? KG's presense turned a perennial lottery team into a legitimate favorite for the NBA title. Shouldn't that be a factor in NBA MVP? If you were betting money, wouldn't you put it on the Celtics, with three veterans all of the same age and experience playing like it's war and they're getting paid by piece-rate?
3. (Tie) Chris Paul (Hornets) & Deron Williams (Jazz) - CP3 has better individual stats, but there are two things to think about with these two. If they switched teams, would the records of either team be that much better or worse? Also, when they face each other, D-Will dominates Paul. If they face each other in the playoffs, I have very little doubt the Jazz would win the series, so while their regular season record is great, I have no faith in the Hornets making it out of the West. That said, who could have guessed that the lottery-team Hornets would still hold the #1 seed in the West at this point?
5. Tracy McGrady (Rockets) - 22 in a row, half without Yao Ming. He carried his team.
Others: Amare Stoudamire (Suns), LeBron James (Cavs), Tim Duncan (Spurs), Dwight Howard (Magic), Dirk Nowitzki (Mavs).
Last Place: Stephon Marbury (Knicks). Every team he goes to is worse when he gets there and is better when he leaves.
COACH OF THE YEAR
1. Jerry Sloan (Jazz) - I'm totally biased. Any season they get over 50 wins, his name should be written first until he gets the award. That, or change the name of the award to Coach of the Year Who Exceeded ESPN's Expectations. How can he not have this award yet? He should have won this the year the Jazz went 67-15 (it went to Doc Rivers of the 41-41 Magic) or the year he brought the thinnest roster in history (AK47, Carlos Arroyo, Tom Gugliotta, Milt Palacio, Ben Handlogten, Mikki Moore, Michael Ruffin, Jarron Collins, etc.) to a 42-40 season (it went to Hubie Brown of the Grizzlies; a little harder to complain about that one).
2. Rick Adelman (Rockets) - Weird to think he's never won this either. The Rockets are having their best season since the days of Hakeem, and they're doing it with their star center out. Many teams might have crumpled at that point, but Adelman kept believing.
3. Byron Scott (Hornets) - Their bench isn't that deep, but they find ways to win. Who knows what the Nets could have done if Kidd hadn't run him out of town? Clearly the guy knows what he's doing.
4. Stan Van Gundy (Magic) - Anyone think that Miami would be the worst team in the league if Riley hadn't stabbed SVG in the back to swoop in and win a title? If the Magic could upgrade Jameer Nelson and get Fran Vasquez to come over, they'd be title contenders.
5. Flip Saunders (Pistons) - He knows how to get this team to the Eastern Conference finals ever year, and he's developing the bench behind the All-Stars.
Others: Phil Jackson (Lakers), Doc Rivers (Celtics), Gregg Popovich (Spurs), Mike D'Antoni (Suns), Maurice Cheeks (Sixers).
Last Place: Pat Riley (Heat). He quit on his team when the going got rough, then Stan Van Gundy turned them around. Then he took the team back. When the going got rough this year, he took time off here and there all year.
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
1. Kevin Durant (Sonics) - No one else is even close.
Others: Al Horford (Hawks), Luis Scola (Rockets), Jeff Green (Sonics), Thaddeus Young (Sixers), Al Thornton (Clippers), Jamario Moon (Raptors).
Last Place: Greg Oden (Blazers). What's the dude thinking, playing a pick-up game? If he has been out all season, won't next year really count as his rookie year? He might as well have been a Euro stashed overseas.
GM OF THE YEAR
1. Danny Ainge (Celtics) - Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen? Are you kidding? Hands down.
2. Mitch Kupchek (Lakers) - Any other year, he'd probably win, by getting Pau Gasol for nothing, leading to other desperation trades around the NBA (so, Mavs, how's Kidd working out for you? So, Suns, how's Shaq's salary going to look next year?)
3. Kevin O'Connor (Jazz) - Since the Kyle Korver trade, the Jazz have gone 36-10. But yeah, he's a distant third.
Others: I won't pretend to know the names of all of them, but the guys from the Hornets, Blazers, Sixers, Pistons and Magic deserve credit.
Last Place: Isiah Thomas (Knicks). For some reason, Zeke has never figured out the meaning of the word "chemistry" the way most other GM's have. Headcase after headcase has been brought to the MSG to squander away time and talent. There is not one contract still in New York from when Isiah took over, yet they're in worse shape than when Scott Layden was trading away Nene for Antonio McDyess. It'll be at least two years before Donnie Walsh can clean up the salary purgatory Zeke has put them in.
NBA MVP
1. Kobe Bryant (Lakers) - Going by his on-court displays, he is the best player in the game today, and he has never won this award. Think about that. It was his sheer force of will that kept the Lakers above .500 until the Pau Gasol trade that suddenly made them the favorites to win the Western Conference. No one is better in the clutch, and he truly has learned how to get his teammates involved. (And he's probably my favorite player to hate.)
2. Kevin Garnett (Celtics) - You know those "Where I remember happens" ads? KG's presense turned a perennial lottery team into a legitimate favorite for the NBA title. Shouldn't that be a factor in NBA MVP? If you were betting money, wouldn't you put it on the Celtics, with three veterans all of the same age and experience playing like it's war and they're getting paid by piece-rate?
3. (Tie) Chris Paul (Hornets) & Deron Williams (Jazz) - CP3 has better individual stats, but there are two things to think about with these two. If they switched teams, would the records of either team be that much better or worse? Also, when they face each other, D-Will dominates Paul. If they face each other in the playoffs, I have very little doubt the Jazz would win the series, so while their regular season record is great, I have no faith in the Hornets making it out of the West. That said, who could have guessed that the lottery-team Hornets would still hold the #1 seed in the West at this point?
5. Tracy McGrady (Rockets) - 22 in a row, half without Yao Ming. He carried his team.
Others: Amare Stoudamire (Suns), LeBron James (Cavs), Tim Duncan (Spurs), Dwight Howard (Magic), Dirk Nowitzki (Mavs).
Last Place: Stephon Marbury (Knicks). Every team he goes to is worse when he gets there and is better when he leaves.
COACH OF THE YEAR
1. Jerry Sloan (Jazz) - I'm totally biased. Any season they get over 50 wins, his name should be written first until he gets the award. That, or change the name of the award to Coach of the Year Who Exceeded ESPN's Expectations. How can he not have this award yet? He should have won this the year the Jazz went 67-15 (it went to Doc Rivers of the 41-41 Magic) or the year he brought the thinnest roster in history (AK47, Carlos Arroyo, Tom Gugliotta, Milt Palacio, Ben Handlogten, Mikki Moore, Michael Ruffin, Jarron Collins, etc.) to a 42-40 season (it went to Hubie Brown of the Grizzlies; a little harder to complain about that one).
2. Rick Adelman (Rockets) - Weird to think he's never won this either. The Rockets are having their best season since the days of Hakeem, and they're doing it with their star center out. Many teams might have crumpled at that point, but Adelman kept believing.
3. Byron Scott (Hornets) - Their bench isn't that deep, but they find ways to win. Who knows what the Nets could have done if Kidd hadn't run him out of town? Clearly the guy knows what he's doing.
4. Stan Van Gundy (Magic) - Anyone think that Miami would be the worst team in the league if Riley hadn't stabbed SVG in the back to swoop in and win a title? If the Magic could upgrade Jameer Nelson and get Fran Vasquez to come over, they'd be title contenders.
5. Flip Saunders (Pistons) - He knows how to get this team to the Eastern Conference finals ever year, and he's developing the bench behind the All-Stars.
Others: Phil Jackson (Lakers), Doc Rivers (Celtics), Gregg Popovich (Spurs), Mike D'Antoni (Suns), Maurice Cheeks (Sixers).
Last Place: Pat Riley (Heat). He quit on his team when the going got rough, then Stan Van Gundy turned them around. Then he took the team back. When the going got rough this year, he took time off here and there all year.
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
1. Kevin Durant (Sonics) - No one else is even close.
Others: Al Horford (Hawks), Luis Scola (Rockets), Jeff Green (Sonics), Thaddeus Young (Sixers), Al Thornton (Clippers), Jamario Moon (Raptors).
Last Place: Greg Oden (Blazers). What's the dude thinking, playing a pick-up game? If he has been out all season, won't next year really count as his rookie year? He might as well have been a Euro stashed overseas.
GM OF THE YEAR
1. Danny Ainge (Celtics) - Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen? Are you kidding? Hands down.
2. Mitch Kupchek (Lakers) - Any other year, he'd probably win, by getting Pau Gasol for nothing, leading to other desperation trades around the NBA (so, Mavs, how's Kidd working out for you? So, Suns, how's Shaq's salary going to look next year?)
3. Kevin O'Connor (Jazz) - Since the Kyle Korver trade, the Jazz have gone 36-10. But yeah, he's a distant third.
Others: I won't pretend to know the names of all of them, but the guys from the Hornets, Blazers, Sixers, Pistons and Magic deserve credit.
Last Place: Isiah Thomas (Knicks). For some reason, Zeke has never figured out the meaning of the word "chemistry" the way most other GM's have. Headcase after headcase has been brought to the MSG to squander away time and talent. There is not one contract still in New York from when Isiah took over, yet they're in worse shape than when Scott Layden was trading away Nene for Antonio McDyess. It'll be at least two years before Donnie Walsh can clean up the salary purgatory Zeke has put them in.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Battlestar Galactica - The coolest show ever?
Name one that's frakkin' cooler. I just finished watching Season 3 on DVD, which had one of the best cliffhangers in TV series history. Can't wait to get into Season 4, and I'm sad this is its last season. Then again, it's good for a series to have a planned beginning, middle and end.
Leatherheads - Movie Review
LEATHERHEADS (**1/2) - Starring George Clooney, Renee Zellweger, John Krasinski, Jonathan Pryce, Peter Gerety, Jack Thompson, Stephen Root and Grant Heslov.
Written by Duncan Brantley & Rick Reilly.
Directed by George Clooney.
Clooney has learned a thing or two about screwball comedy from the Coen brothers, and I look forward to this next collaboration with them. However, his efforts here fall just a wee bit short. I'd say his biggest mistake was taking a decade-old screenplay written by two sports writers and rewriting it to fit a screwball-comedy mold. His second biggest mistake was thinking Renee Zellweger could match Rosalind Russell in her ability to deliver witty banter. Anyone who saw Down with Love saw Zellweger couldn't match Doris Day to Ewan McGregor's Rock Hudson, so what chance does she have to do Russell to Clooney's Cary Grant?
Zellweger is a good actress, but she has to be in the right parts. She's not a chameleon. She was great in films like Jerry Maguire and Cold Mountain. Here, you can feel Clooney doing the heavy lifting in their verbal sparring scenes, almost like he's pretending he's still talking to Catherine Zeta-Jones in Intolerable Cruelty.
The script's original point seemed to be that too many rules have ruined pro-football. They mention rules a couple times in the first minute of the movie, and then they don't revisit the theme until the Big Game at the climax of the movie. For over 75 minutes, it's completely ignored, a symptom of a screenplay that's been reworked a few times through the years.
Yet Clooney the Director doesn't completely fumble on this, his third effort (the first two were Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and Good Night & Good Luck). His scenes with The Office's John Krasinski, as the war-hero college stud out to make pro-football relevant, bounce along nicely, and the biggest laughs come from their scenes.
So I enjoyed a lot about it. Zellweger didn't work for me, and it could've been tightened up easily. It felt about fifteen minutes too long. It's probably better as a $1 theater viewing or a DVD rental.
P.S. Before we got tickets, I kept having to remind my wife this wasn't a horror flick. "It's not Leatherfaces; it's Leatherheads."
Written by Duncan Brantley & Rick Reilly.
Directed by George Clooney.
Clooney has learned a thing or two about screwball comedy from the Coen brothers, and I look forward to this next collaboration with them. However, his efforts here fall just a wee bit short. I'd say his biggest mistake was taking a decade-old screenplay written by two sports writers and rewriting it to fit a screwball-comedy mold. His second biggest mistake was thinking Renee Zellweger could match Rosalind Russell in her ability to deliver witty banter. Anyone who saw Down with Love saw Zellweger couldn't match Doris Day to Ewan McGregor's Rock Hudson, so what chance does she have to do Russell to Clooney's Cary Grant?
Zellweger is a good actress, but she has to be in the right parts. She's not a chameleon. She was great in films like Jerry Maguire and Cold Mountain. Here, you can feel Clooney doing the heavy lifting in their verbal sparring scenes, almost like he's pretending he's still talking to Catherine Zeta-Jones in Intolerable Cruelty.
The script's original point seemed to be that too many rules have ruined pro-football. They mention rules a couple times in the first minute of the movie, and then they don't revisit the theme until the Big Game at the climax of the movie. For over 75 minutes, it's completely ignored, a symptom of a screenplay that's been reworked a few times through the years.
Yet Clooney the Director doesn't completely fumble on this, his third effort (the first two were Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and Good Night & Good Luck). His scenes with The Office's John Krasinski, as the war-hero college stud out to make pro-football relevant, bounce along nicely, and the biggest laughs come from their scenes.
So I enjoyed a lot about it. Zellweger didn't work for me, and it could've been tightened up easily. It felt about fifteen minutes too long. It's probably better as a $1 theater viewing or a DVD rental.
P.S. Before we got tickets, I kept having to remind my wife this wasn't a horror flick. "It's not Leatherfaces; it's Leatherheads."
Monday, April 7, 2008
The Good Night - DVD Review
THE GOOD NIGHT (**) - Starring Martin Freeman, Gwyneth Paltrow, Penelope Cruz, Simon Pegg, Danny DeVito and Michael Gambon.
Written & directed by Jake Paltrow.
Written & directed by Jake Paltrow.
A recommendation from Roeper and a great cast is what plopped this into my Blockbuster queue. Alas, great casts in artsy movies can only do so much when given flimsy material. It felt like a remake of The Science of Sleep, minus any interesting visuals.
Martin Freeman (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) plays a jingle-writer who's grown bored with his live-in girlfriend (Gwyneth Paltrow). In his dreams, he has a fantasy woman (Penelope Cruz) who grows more and more real to him, so he puts his efforts into getting the most out of dreaming. Then one day he sees the woman in real life.
I'll always love Freeman from BBC's The Office, and Simon Pegg (Hot Fuzz) is great as the horndog best friend. Gwyneth's writer-director brother hasn't given her much more than to be shrewish, and Cruz's job is to stand there and look pretty. The movie swirls about as a collection of ideas that never culminates into much. It fades from memory as quickly as a mediocre dream.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Tight NBA playoff race continues
Looking at their schedules, this is where I think the West will end:
1. New Orleans
Utah - Loss
At Minnesota - Win
At LA Lakers - Loss
At Sacramento - Win
LA Clippers - Win
At Dallas - Win
Final record - 58-24
2. San Antonio
At Portland - Win
Phoenix - Win
Seattle - Win
At LA Lakers - Win
At Sacramento - Loss
Utah - Win
Final record - 57-25
3. L.A. Lakers
At Sacramento - Win
At Portland - Loss
At LA CLippers - Win
New Orleans - Win
San Antonio - Loss
Sacramento - Win
Final record - 56-26
4. Utah
At New Orleans - Win
At Dallas - Loss
Denver - Win
Houston - Win
At San Antonio - Loss
Final record 54-28
5. Phoenix
Dallas - Loss
At Memphis - Win
At San Antonio - Loss
At Houston - Loss
Golden State - Loss
Portland - Win
Final record - 53-29 (move to #6)
6. Houston
At LA Clippers - Win
Seattle - Win
Phoenix - Win
At Denver - Loss
At Utah - Loss
LA Clippers - Win
Final record - 55-27 (move to #5)
7. Dallas
At Phoenix - Win
Seattle - Win
Utah - Win
At Portland - Win
At Seattle - Win
New Orleans - Loss
Final record - 52-30
8. Denver
At Seattle - Loss
At LA Clippers - Win
At Golden State - Loss
At Utah - Loss
Houston - Win
Memphis - Win
Final record - 49-33 (move to #9)
9. Golden State
Sacramento - Win
Denver - Win
LA Clippers - Win
At Phoenix - Win
Seattle - Win
Final record - 51-31 (move to #8)
So my playoff prediction bracket for the West has
1-New Orleans vs. 8-Golden State
This will be an exciting run-and-gun series. Chris Paul vs. Baron Davis. Nellie vs. Scott. The Warriors don't have much playoff experience, but they have more than the Hornets. Another #1 seed upset is a realistic possibility. But...
Hornets in 7
2-San Antonio vs. 7-Dallas
This will be another intense series. The Spurs may seem like they're on the decline, but it's foolish to ever count them out. The Mavs have been in disarray ever since mark Cuban mortgaged away their future on Jason Kidd. I think most games will be close, but Pops will out-coach Avery in the fourth.
Spurs in 5
3-LA Lakers vs. 6-Phoenix
Kobe vs. Shaq. The epic playoff battle we've been wanting ever since Shaq left town. Both men will be motivated to the gills. But Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum will be healthy, and the Suns' lack of defense will mean Kobe will have more than one 15-point 4th quarter.
Lakers in 6
4-Utah vs. 5-Houston
A rematch from last year, except now there's no Yao Ming.
Jazz in 7
From there, the Jazz beat the Hornets and the Lakers beat the Spurs. From there, the Jazz need to hope Gasol and/or Bynum went down with injury to have a shot at beating them, but methinks the Powers That Be want a Lakers/Celtics Finals, and there's no Tim Donaghy to stand in their way.
1. New Orleans
Utah - Loss
At Minnesota - Win
At LA Lakers - Loss
At Sacramento - Win
LA Clippers - Win
At Dallas - Win
Final record - 58-24
2. San Antonio
At Portland - Win
Phoenix - Win
Seattle - Win
At LA Lakers - Win
At Sacramento - Loss
Utah - Win
Final record - 57-25
3. L.A. Lakers
At Sacramento - Win
At Portland - Loss
At LA CLippers - Win
New Orleans - Win
San Antonio - Loss
Sacramento - Win
Final record - 56-26
4. Utah
At New Orleans - Win
At Dallas - Loss
Denver - Win
Houston - Win
At San Antonio - Loss
Final record 54-28
5. Phoenix
Dallas - Loss
At Memphis - Win
At San Antonio - Loss
At Houston - Loss
Golden State - Loss
Portland - Win
Final record - 53-29 (move to #6)
6. Houston
At LA Clippers - Win
Seattle - Win
Phoenix - Win
At Denver - Loss
At Utah - Loss
LA Clippers - Win
Final record - 55-27 (move to #5)
7. Dallas
At Phoenix - Win
Seattle - Win
Utah - Win
At Portland - Win
At Seattle - Win
New Orleans - Loss
Final record - 52-30
8. Denver
At Seattle - Loss
At LA Clippers - Win
At Golden State - Loss
At Utah - Loss
Houston - Win
Memphis - Win
Final record - 49-33 (move to #9)
9. Golden State
Sacramento - Win
Denver - Win
LA Clippers - Win
At Phoenix - Win
Seattle - Win
Final record - 51-31 (move to #8)
So my playoff prediction bracket for the West has
1-New Orleans vs. 8-Golden State
This will be an exciting run-and-gun series. Chris Paul vs. Baron Davis. Nellie vs. Scott. The Warriors don't have much playoff experience, but they have more than the Hornets. Another #1 seed upset is a realistic possibility. But...
Hornets in 7
2-San Antonio vs. 7-Dallas
This will be another intense series. The Spurs may seem like they're on the decline, but it's foolish to ever count them out. The Mavs have been in disarray ever since mark Cuban mortgaged away their future on Jason Kidd. I think most games will be close, but Pops will out-coach Avery in the fourth.
Spurs in 5
3-LA Lakers vs. 6-Phoenix
Kobe vs. Shaq. The epic playoff battle we've been wanting ever since Shaq left town. Both men will be motivated to the gills. But Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum will be healthy, and the Suns' lack of defense will mean Kobe will have more than one 15-point 4th quarter.
Lakers in 6
4-Utah vs. 5-Houston
A rematch from last year, except now there's no Yao Ming.
Jazz in 7
From there, the Jazz beat the Hornets and the Lakers beat the Spurs. From there, the Jazz need to hope Gasol and/or Bynum went down with injury to have a shot at beating them, but methinks the Powers That Be want a Lakers/Celtics Finals, and there's no Tim Donaghy to stand in their way.
August Rush - DVD Review
AUGUST RUSH (***) - Starring Freddie Highmore, Keri Russell, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Robin Williams, Terrence Howard and William Sadler.
Written by Nick Castle & James V. Hart.
Directed by Kirsten Sheridan.
The cranky curmudgeonly critics at Rottentomatoes.com give this a 37% rating, most of them complaining about how unrealistic it is. Well, duh, it's a fantasy. Enchanted wasn't realistic either.
It's about a pair of musicians who meet for a one-night stand. They separate, and she believes the baby died in an accident, and so man and woman live their lives, stagnant, feeling empty somehow. The baby grows up to be 11-year-old August Rush (Freddie Highmore), an orphan and a musical prodigy. He bounces around, eventually landing in a circle of homeless kids run by the Fagin-esque "Wizard", played by Robin Williams. When I first saw him in that Bono hat, I thought Williams would bug me, but he didn't. His character worked.
Through the whole movie is the theme of music, how transcedent it can be. There is a series of coincidences and contrivances that make characters cross paths like stick-boats in a summer stream. It adds up to the sentimental climax, which hit me. Probably because I let it, and the fanciful way the movie plays with destiny made me want to let it.
Written by Nick Castle & James V. Hart.
Directed by Kirsten Sheridan.
The cranky curmudgeonly critics at Rottentomatoes.com give this a 37% rating, most of them complaining about how unrealistic it is. Well, duh, it's a fantasy. Enchanted wasn't realistic either.
It's about a pair of musicians who meet for a one-night stand. They separate, and she believes the baby died in an accident, and so man and woman live their lives, stagnant, feeling empty somehow. The baby grows up to be 11-year-old August Rush (Freddie Highmore), an orphan and a musical prodigy. He bounces around, eventually landing in a circle of homeless kids run by the Fagin-esque "Wizard", played by Robin Williams. When I first saw him in that Bono hat, I thought Williams would bug me, but he didn't. His character worked.
Through the whole movie is the theme of music, how transcedent it can be. There is a series of coincidences and contrivances that make characters cross paths like stick-boats in a summer stream. It adds up to the sentimental climax, which hit me. Probably because I let it, and the fanciful way the movie plays with destiny made me want to let it.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
10,000 B.C. - Movie Review
10,000 B.C. (**) - Starring Steven Strait, Camilla Belle and Cliff Curtis.
Written by Roland Emmerich & Harald Kloser.
Directed by Roland Emmerich.
I started out enjoying this movie. Despite the hokey narration, I was ready to let myself get enveloped into this world. I didn't care about historical accuracy; if you want to tell me wooly mammoths and sabre-toothed tigers and giant killer ostriches lived at the same time as these dredlocked tribesmen, fine. I'm here for the ride.
Unfortunately, this movie is a hodgepodge of Clan of the Cave Bear, Stargate, 300 and mostly Apocalypto. Apocalypto had a peaceful village ravaged by fearsome warriors, with some of them kidnapped and taken on a long journey to their capital city, where they worship their gods and offer human sacrifice. Same plot here.
So while I could enjoy individual scenes or sequences, cool effects of a herd of mammoths and so forth, other elements kept pulling me out. Did men outnumber women 20 to 1 back then? Why does the journey bring them to a completely different climate every day and a half? They literally walk from a snow-covered mountain into a lush rain forest.
But it all comes back to Apocalypto. That movie had more compelling actors, a more focussed story, better cinematography, lusher jungles, and the best 20-minute foot-chase in history. This movie has giant killer ostriches.
Written by Roland Emmerich & Harald Kloser.
Directed by Roland Emmerich.
I started out enjoying this movie. Despite the hokey narration, I was ready to let myself get enveloped into this world. I didn't care about historical accuracy; if you want to tell me wooly mammoths and sabre-toothed tigers and giant killer ostriches lived at the same time as these dredlocked tribesmen, fine. I'm here for the ride.
Unfortunately, this movie is a hodgepodge of Clan of the Cave Bear, Stargate, 300 and mostly Apocalypto. Apocalypto had a peaceful village ravaged by fearsome warriors, with some of them kidnapped and taken on a long journey to their capital city, where they worship their gods and offer human sacrifice. Same plot here.
So while I could enjoy individual scenes or sequences, cool effects of a herd of mammoths and so forth, other elements kept pulling me out. Did men outnumber women 20 to 1 back then? Why does the journey bring them to a completely different climate every day and a half? They literally walk from a snow-covered mountain into a lush rain forest.
But it all comes back to Apocalypto. That movie had more compelling actors, a more focussed story, better cinematography, lusher jungles, and the best 20-minute foot-chase in history. This movie has giant killer ostriches.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Imam calls all non-Muslims guilty
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,344409,00.html
What scares me is that there are thousands of other Muslims in the world who agree with this guy.
Oliver Stone's W
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/Vote2008/story?id=4563558&page=1
oelivar ston's jorj v bush biopik has begun philming kaanphirmed are josh brolin as jorj, yelijbeth bainks as viphe lunraa, yend jems kromvell & yellen burstyan as his parents, jorj hav yend barbar rumored but not kaanphirmed are jephphre vright as kaaliin povel yend robart duvaall as disk chenii should be a good moovii aaeetii maay not be achkuraate, viiring more tovaatd jphk thaan nikson, but i thought ston vaas pheyar yenough in nikson, yend i yekspekt no les phrom him hiyar, his parsanal politiks aside.
This was originally a bug that converted my stuff to Hindi if I wanted it to or not. I thought it was an April Fool's joke by Google, but it never went away.p=p]\[
Saturday, March 29, 2008
The Mist - DVD Review
THE MIST (***) - Starring Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden, Toby Jones, Andre Braugher, William Sadler, Jeffrey DeMunn and Frances Sternhagen.
Written & Directed by Frank Darabont.
2007 may be remembered for a few things, but one notable achievement is that it contained two decent Stephen King horror movies. 1408 was rewarding for its mind-bending twists and turns, and John Cusack's central performance. Now here comes The Mist, probably the best monster movie of the past few years.
It reminded me of Dreamcatcher in many ways, all of them positive. While Dreamcatcher's monsters were too silly to take seriously (they came out of what?), The Mist has good special effects and lets you see the beasties up close, and even though we know we're watching CGI effects, there's still something pretty cool and dangerous about a giant spiked tentacle wrapping itself around a guy's neck.
But The Mist is more than about what's out there. The movie takes place in a grocery store, where people are trapped, hoping the mist will pass, and take whatever is inside it with it. But thanks to one religious zealot (King's the king of writing the CCC - Crazy Christian Character; remember the mother from Carrie?), inside the store may be just as dangerous, as people grasp at straws and wonder if this is indeed the end of the world.
Marcia Gay Harden embraces her role and steals the movie in the acting department. Her CCC is naturally delusional and hypocritical, and scary in how she's able to persuade people so easily.
It takes itself just seriously enough to get some good jolts. It was adapted by Frank Darabont, who did King justice with The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile. Not working on Oscar-bait has freed him up to have a little monster-movie fun.
Written & Directed by Frank Darabont.
2007 may be remembered for a few things, but one notable achievement is that it contained two decent Stephen King horror movies. 1408 was rewarding for its mind-bending twists and turns, and John Cusack's central performance. Now here comes The Mist, probably the best monster movie of the past few years.
It reminded me of Dreamcatcher in many ways, all of them positive. While Dreamcatcher's monsters were too silly to take seriously (they came out of what?), The Mist has good special effects and lets you see the beasties up close, and even though we know we're watching CGI effects, there's still something pretty cool and dangerous about a giant spiked tentacle wrapping itself around a guy's neck.
But The Mist is more than about what's out there. The movie takes place in a grocery store, where people are trapped, hoping the mist will pass, and take whatever is inside it with it. But thanks to one religious zealot (King's the king of writing the CCC - Crazy Christian Character; remember the mother from Carrie?), inside the store may be just as dangerous, as people grasp at straws and wonder if this is indeed the end of the world.
Marcia Gay Harden embraces her role and steals the movie in the acting department. Her CCC is naturally delusional and hypocritical, and scary in how she's able to persuade people so easily.
It takes itself just seriously enough to get some good jolts. It was adapted by Frank Darabont, who did King justice with The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile. Not working on Oscar-bait has freed him up to have a little monster-movie fun.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Another Hillary lie
Hillary Clinton 'misspoke'? How about 'lied'?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080324/ap_on_el_pr/clinton_bosnia
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080324/ap_on_el_pr/clinton_bosnia
Obama's white grandmother
I was watching the Sunday news shows, and Juan Williams made a good point on Barack Obama's speech (which I enjoyed). He pointed out that it is an unfair comparison, equating Jeremiah Wright and his white grandmother, because Obama's grandma expressed fear of black men on the street in private. Wright is preaching "the United States of KKK America" to thousands, including Obama's children.
it's almost amusing to watch Baby-Boomer beltway types wring their hands over race issues. They grew up on Jim Crow, segregation and Rosa Parks. We grew up on Sesame Street, The Cosby Show, Magic Johnson and the O.J. trial (where we learned it isn't black vs. white; it's the rich and famous vs. the poor and obscure).
it's almost amusing to watch Baby-Boomer beltway types wring their hands over race issues. They grew up on Jim Crow, segregation and Rosa Parks. We grew up on Sesame Street, The Cosby Show, Magic Johnson and the O.J. trial (where we learned it isn't black vs. white; it's the rich and famous vs. the poor and obscure).
NBA Stuff
Another NBA season, another year for Jerry Sloan to not get the Coach of the Year award, even if the Jazz win the rest of their games. So if he can't have it, I think it should be between Houston's Rick Adelman and New Orleans' Byron Scott, with the edge to Adelman. He never won it for all those seasons he made Kings basketball matter, and now he's presided over the second-longest winning streak in NBA history. Some might argue for Boston's Doc Rivers, but I would say he was an ineffective coach until Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett showed up (Danny Ainge for GM of the year though).
The Utah Jazz may have clinched a losing road record, but they still have the best home record in the NBA, and 8 of their final 12 games are at home. I don't see them climbing to #3, barring a couple teams imploding at the same time, but with a mere 3 games separating spots 1-7, it's going to go down to the wire as far as seeding goes.
As far as Jazz fans booing Derek Fisher, here's my take. First, I wouldn't have booed. Second, if Fish had gone to any other team in the NBA, Jazz fans would have been okay with it. But he went to the much-hated Lakers. Now his press conference made it sound like he might not even play the 2007-2008 season, but no sooner was Larry Miller's signature dry on the release form, Fish was in talks with the Lakers. Wait, wasn't his doctor in New York? It just seemed fishy. And I have a medically fragile daughter of my own.
If the Lakers win the title this year, especially if they beat the Jazz in the playoffs on their way to that ring, all fond memories in SLC of Fisher entering the Golden State game in the second half and hitting that 3-pointer are erased. Instead it'll be Derek "The Traitor" Fisher. Again, if he'd gone to any other team in the NBA, no Jazz fan would have had a problem. "You're joining the Knicks? May the wind always be at your back."
Dallas, however, is in big trouble. They're 9-8 since Jason Kidd joined the team, and Dirk Nowitzki is out indefinitely. I don't see them doing much better than .500 until Dirk returns, with the real possibility that he doesn't make it back before the end of the season. This is Denver's chance to hop into the playoffs, and the really ironic thing about all of this is that even though they have a worse record, Devin Harris and the New Jersey Nets may make the playoffs, and Jason Kidd and the Dallas Mavericks may not.
Meanwhile, Phoenix has gone on a quiet seven-game win streak. As soon as someone notices, they'll lose, and it'll be another round of "Shaq was a mistake" columns.
Realistic West first-round matches that I hope happen:
1-Houston vs. 8-Denver
Even though he has no Yao, it would be T-Mac's year to finally get out of the first round. George Karl's in the hot seat.
2-LA Lakers vs. 7-Golden State
Can Pinky and the Twin Wounded Towers stop Baron, Stephen, and the run-n-gun Warriors? I hope not, and it'd be fun to watch.
3-Phoenix vs. 6-San Antonio
They made the trade for Shaq specifically to beat the Spurs, so let's have that match in the first round.
4-Utah vs. 5-New Orleans
Who wouldn't want to see the best two under-30 point guards in the NBA face off in the playoffs?
And would Cuban fire Avery Johnson if the Mavericks wind up in the lottery? I hope your first-round pick is protected this summer.
The Utah Jazz may have clinched a losing road record, but they still have the best home record in the NBA, and 8 of their final 12 games are at home. I don't see them climbing to #3, barring a couple teams imploding at the same time, but with a mere 3 games separating spots 1-7, it's going to go down to the wire as far as seeding goes.
As far as Jazz fans booing Derek Fisher, here's my take. First, I wouldn't have booed. Second, if Fish had gone to any other team in the NBA, Jazz fans would have been okay with it. But he went to the much-hated Lakers. Now his press conference made it sound like he might not even play the 2007-2008 season, but no sooner was Larry Miller's signature dry on the release form, Fish was in talks with the Lakers. Wait, wasn't his doctor in New York? It just seemed fishy. And I have a medically fragile daughter of my own.
If the Lakers win the title this year, especially if they beat the Jazz in the playoffs on their way to that ring, all fond memories in SLC of Fisher entering the Golden State game in the second half and hitting that 3-pointer are erased. Instead it'll be Derek "The Traitor" Fisher. Again, if he'd gone to any other team in the NBA, no Jazz fan would have had a problem. "You're joining the Knicks? May the wind always be at your back."
Dallas, however, is in big trouble. They're 9-8 since Jason Kidd joined the team, and Dirk Nowitzki is out indefinitely. I don't see them doing much better than .500 until Dirk returns, with the real possibility that he doesn't make it back before the end of the season. This is Denver's chance to hop into the playoffs, and the really ironic thing about all of this is that even though they have a worse record, Devin Harris and the New Jersey Nets may make the playoffs, and Jason Kidd and the Dallas Mavericks may not.
Meanwhile, Phoenix has gone on a quiet seven-game win streak. As soon as someone notices, they'll lose, and it'll be another round of "Shaq was a mistake" columns.
Realistic West first-round matches that I hope happen:
1-Houston vs. 8-Denver
Even though he has no Yao, it would be T-Mac's year to finally get out of the first round. George Karl's in the hot seat.
2-LA Lakers vs. 7-Golden State
Can Pinky and the Twin Wounded Towers stop Baron, Stephen, and the run-n-gun Warriors? I hope not, and it'd be fun to watch.
3-Phoenix vs. 6-San Antonio
They made the trade for Shaq specifically to beat the Spurs, so let's have that match in the first round.
4-Utah vs. 5-New Orleans
Who wouldn't want to see the best two under-30 point guards in the NBA face off in the playoffs?
And would Cuban fire Avery Johnson if the Mavericks wind up in the lottery? I hope your first-round pick is protected this summer.
The Seeker: The Dark is Rising - DVD Review
THE SEEKER: THE DARK IS RISING (*1/2) - Starring Alexander Ludwig, Ian McShane, Christopher Eccleston, Frances Conroy, Wendy Crewson and James Cosmo.
Directed by David L. Cunningham.
I'm a fan of Ian McShane and of family-friendly fantasy, so this had two plusses from me going in. However, I am fairly confident, having not read the books, to say this can't be that faithful. My sister-in-law read the books and she said she could tell from the trailer they'd made it stupid. I'm sure in the books, the rules of this universe make sense.
There has been a secret war going on for thousands of years between Light and Dark... Ah, forget it. I was going to try to explain what the plot is, but it didn't really make much sense to me. The rules were explained fairly quickly in dialogue. Needless to say, this 14-year-old boy, the seventh son of a seventh son, has the power to travel through time and collect six "signs" to stop the Dark from rising and taking over Earth. They're these patterned boxes that looks like they'll contain Wal-Mart jewelry.
The Dark is this dude on a horse played by Christopher Eccleston. He rides around saying his power is growing. We see him change his voice and command swirling dark clouds, but he doesn't come close to being scary. The boy collects his trinkets and heads into a final showdown with the Dark lord, which is very anticlimactic because we don't care about the characters, and the rules of who wins this magic battle seem arbitrary.
Directed by David L. Cunningham.
I'm a fan of Ian McShane and of family-friendly fantasy, so this had two plusses from me going in. However, I am fairly confident, having not read the books, to say this can't be that faithful. My sister-in-law read the books and she said she could tell from the trailer they'd made it stupid. I'm sure in the books, the rules of this universe make sense.
There has been a secret war going on for thousands of years between Light and Dark... Ah, forget it. I was going to try to explain what the plot is, but it didn't really make much sense to me. The rules were explained fairly quickly in dialogue. Needless to say, this 14-year-old boy, the seventh son of a seventh son, has the power to travel through time and collect six "signs" to stop the Dark from rising and taking over Earth. They're these patterned boxes that looks like they'll contain Wal-Mart jewelry.
The Dark is this dude on a horse played by Christopher Eccleston. He rides around saying his power is growing. We see him change his voice and command swirling dark clouds, but he doesn't come close to being scary. The boy collects his trinkets and heads into a final showdown with the Dark lord, which is very anticlimactic because we don't care about the characters, and the rules of who wins this magic battle seem arbitrary.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Richardson endorses Obama
I always thought Bill Richardson was running for the position of Hillary's VP, but now maybe he's hoping Barack Obama would like to make more history by nominating the first Hispanic Vice-President.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Sleuth (2007) - DVD review
SLEUTH (**) - Starring Michael Caine and Jude Law. Directed by Kenneth Branaugh.
When the main thing you notice and remember about a movie is its set design, it's probsbly not a good thing. Caine & Law are the thesps updating the Shaffer play via new dialogue from Harold Pinter. Personally I thought the 1972 version with Caine & Laurence Olivier was better. The premise is outdated now. Too showy, little substance, and if you don't know the twist halfway through, the movie does not come close to pulling it off for me. I'd be surprised if anyone was surprised by it.
But the house they film it in is really cool, and I liked how director Kenneth Branaugh played with sleek surfaces and mirrors in choosing angles to do his filming. And that's about it.
When the main thing you notice and remember about a movie is its set design, it's probsbly not a good thing. Caine & Law are the thesps updating the Shaffer play via new dialogue from Harold Pinter. Personally I thought the 1972 version with Caine & Laurence Olivier was better. The premise is outdated now. Too showy, little substance, and if you don't know the twist halfway through, the movie does not come close to pulling it off for me. I'd be surprised if anyone was surprised by it.
But the house they film it in is really cool, and I liked how director Kenneth Branaugh played with sleek surfaces and mirrors in choosing angles to do his filming. And that's about it.
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