Alien Trespass - DVD Review

*1/2

Starring Eric McCormack, Jenni Baird, Dan Lauria, Robert Patrick, Jody Thompson, Aaron Brooks and Sarah Smyth.
Directed by R.W. Goodwin.

When it comes to sci-fi spoofs, I prefer The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra for low-budgets and Mars Attacks for high-budgets. This movie is somewhere in between. This movie recreates the bad acting, bad dialogue, bad use of green-screen from sci-fi of old, but then it's filmed in bright living color with CGI special effects. It's all set-up with no punchline.

Pigs. Guinea Pigs.

G-FORCE
(Movie review)

**

Starring Zach Galifianakis, Bill Nighy, Will Arnett, Kelli Garner, Neicy Nash, and the voices of Nicolas Cage, Sam Rockwell, Penelope Cruz, Jon Favreau, Tracy Morgan and Steve Buscemi.
Directed by Hoyt Yeatman.

Saw this with my kids, and they loved seeing their first 3-D movie. And for something this simplistic, 3-D is the only reason to watch it. Lots of things fly at the screen, and there's this weird Transformers-esque third act, but bottom line is it should be funny, and it never is. It's also downright uncomfortable to see Zach Galifianakis, who was allowed to spread his comic wings in The Hangover, have to get dewey-eyed at the end for the happy ending with his talking guinea pigs.

The Soloist - DVD Review

**1/2

Starring Jamie Foxx, Robert Downey Jr., Catherine Keener, Nelsan Ellis, Rachael Harris, Stephen Root, Tom Hollander, Lisa Gay Hamilton and Jena Malone.
Directed by Joe Wright.

Two great performances carried me through most of the movie, but it couldn't quite drag me across the finish line.

Based on a true story, Robert Downey Jr. plays LA Times columnist Steve Lopez, who encounters a homeless man (Jamie Foxx) one day who's quite the talented violinist. The more Lopez tries to help him, the more troubled he sees the man is. Is he schitzophrenic?

Downey holds our attention in every scene he's in. Foxx has a chance to showcase, but it feels like the same thing Geoffrey Rush did in Shine. This feels like an Academy-bait movie that got pushed out of December and dumped in April.

My Hurt Locker review

THE HURT LOCKER
(Movie review)

****

Starring Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, Brian Geraghty, Christian Camargo, Ralph Fiennes, Guy Pearce, David Morse and Evangeline Lilly.
Directed by Kathryn Bigelow.

The best fictional Iraq War movie up to this point, I would argue, was The Kingdom, an actioner with Jamie Foxx and Jennifer Garner. Most Hollywood movies that tried to deal with it just used it as a platform to slam Bush or portray the Americans as the real bad guys, and not just focus on the troops at war. The Hurt Locker is now the best Iraq War movie thus far, as it respects the soldiers in their impossible situation and just chooses to focus on one guy who's a wee bit crazy. And I never knew where it was going but I was always in suspense.

Jeremy Renner, who's been serviceable in a few movies (S.W.A.T. comes to mind), gives a break-out performance here as Sgt. Will James, a specialist in defusing bombs who doesn't seem to mind he's risking his life every day. Anthony Mackie and Brian Geraghty, two more actors who've been fine in previous movies but really shine here, play his support squad, and they really mind putting their life on the line.

Director Kathryn Bigelow (Point Break, Strange Days) winds up being the ideal guide for this story. She knows how to stage action and more importantly, suspense. I predict the rare nomination of a female for Best Director in about six months. The farther away I get from this, the more it grows on me.

John Hughes 1950-2009

The King of 1980's teen movies is dead.

Long live the king.

This death bums me out more than any other celeb this year. I remember watching The Breakfast Club five times within a two-week span. I've seen many of his movies many times. He only directed eight himself, and the first five are all 1980's classics (Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and Planes Trains & Automobiles). He also wrote Mr. Mom, the Vacation movies, Pretty in Pink, and Some Kind of Wonderful. In the 1990's he got more into kid comedies, with Home Alone, Beethoven, Dennis the Menace, 101 Dalmatians, and Flubber. He seemed to fall out of favor with Hollywood the past few years. Most recently he had "story by" credits on Maid in Manhattan and Drillbit Taylor.

Ali Larter be crazy

OBSESSED
(DVD Review)

*1/2

Starring Idris Elba, Beyonce Knowles, Ali Larter, Jerry O'Connell, Christine Lahti, Bruce McGill, Matthew Humphries and Scout Taylor-Compton.
Directed by Steve Shill.

The main problem with this Fatal Attraction rip-off is that Ali Larter does not play a real person. Even a crazy person has some modicum of reality to them. She plays every scene and delivers every line like she can hear the creepy music in the background for her. And I don't blame Larter. I don't think anyone could have made this role believable.

The twist to this stalker thriller is that it crosses racial lines. Idris Elba is the bossman, Larter is the temp, and Beyonce Knowles is the dutiful wife who spends the first hour of the movie staying at home wondering if there's a movie going on without her. Larter doesn't play her girl as damaged goods, as someone truly deranged. There's always a hint in her eye that she planned on destroying his life from the second she sees him.

And they don't even have sex. How's that fair?

Spielberg on Harvey

Steven Spielberg is still one of the only directors who can do whatever he wants, so why is remaking Harvey? As a power-player he could use his clout to do original stories. He took a risk on A.I.

Risk, Steven! Riiiisk!

Dragonball Evolution - DVD Review

*1/2

Starring Justin Chatwin, Chow Yun-Fat, Emmy Rossum, Jamie Chung, James Marsters, Joon Park, Randall Duk Kim and Ernie Hudson.
Directed by James Wong.

It really is like watching a US dubbing of a Japanese kids cartoon come to life. I've never watched the show, but my son said this movie butchered that aspect of it. Justin Chatwin (The Invisible) is okay as Goku, our hero who must track down the seven dragonballs before the evil green alien King Piccolo does, and Chow Yun-Fat seems to be having fun as the mentor. He even laughs like he's dubbing a Japanese kids cartoon. It's very silly, flashy, so-bad-it's-good in some ways. Tons of wire fu, but none of it exciting. I also really thought Emmy Rossum (Phantom of the Opera) would amount to more than this.

I gave up though when Goku turned into a werewolf.

So does this mean a live-action Yu-Gi-Oh movie is coming? Probably not.

At least Sandler's good...

FUNNY PEOPLE
(Movie review)

**1/2

Starring Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Eric Bana, Jonah Hill, Jason Schwartzman, Paul Reiser, Andy Dick and Eminem.
Directed by Judd Apatow.

There is a very, very good movie buried within here. I mean a moving, funny three-and-a-half star film just dying to come out, one which would garner Adam Sandler a Golden Globe nomination. I'm not kidding; it's his best performance to date. Some could sneer at that, considering they thought the Zohan was the apex of his stretching, but he also did Punch-Drunk Love and Spanglish and Reign Over Me, and Sandler has finally found a vehicle that lets him balance comedy and drama and be a real human being.

He plays George Simmons, a successful stand-up comic who has since become a multimillionaire icon, star of such movies as My Best Friend Is A Robot and Merman (like Splash, but with a guy). George has a sprawling palace of a house on the beach, posters of all his movies on the wall, and yet, he just learned he has cancer. And George realizes that he's all alone.

He hires a promising, struggling young comic named Ira Wright (Seth Rogen) to write some jokes for him as he takes his private jet from gig to gig. But even though George is dying, he doesn't really seem to learn much.

This movie's a reflection on just how unhappy many comedians are. No surprise there. My main two problems with this movie revolve around 1) a running time of nearly two-and-a-half hours, and 2) more male-organ jokes than any movie in cinematic history.

Judd Apatow did The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up, and this movie had the potential to be his best movie to date, but he refuses to grow up. The film meanders and sags, and really there is such a thing as too many genitalia jokes.

Friday's Box Office

Friday's box-office is showing that Funny People will win the weekend, though I wonder if the studio considers it a disappointment it's not going to open as high as Step Brothers.

1. Funny People - $8.63 million - 1 day
2. G-Force - $5.75 ($55.15) - 8 days
3. Harry Potter 6 - $5.41 ($243.17) - 17 days
4. The Ugly Truth - $4.45 ($45.93) - 8 days
5. Aliens in the Attic - $2.88 - 1 day

Summit backstabs Lefevre

It sounds like Summit is engaging in the usual scummy behavior that makes Hollywood the stereotype of an ethics-free city.

Summit firing Rachelle Lefevre in favor of the more-famous Bryce Dallas Howard reminds of the same shenanigans when the producers of Iron Man 2 fired Terrence Howard for not agreeing to a pay cut, or when Addams Family Values dumped Judith Malina for Carol Kane to play Grandma.

Heroes ratings stunt: bi-curious Claire

Apparently NBC is hoping a lesbian kiss from Claire (Hayden Panetierre) will spike their sagging ratings. I really liked Season 1, but I think it'll take a lot more than this subplot to restore the show to its former glory.

Cameron Diaz in Green Hornet?

Cameron Diaz is a star who has made it this far without being in a superhero movie, so why would she make this movie the one she joins? With Seth Rogen in the lead, even though he insists it will be emphasizing action more than comedy, just how seriously is it going to take itself? With it have its own sense of humor, like Iron Man, or will it eat its own tail, like the Schumacher Batmans? And with Stephen Chow out, who's going to be Kato? Perhaps Tony Jaa? Maybe she's worried about her star power slipping, what with her recent resume being comprised of respectable, low-grossing fare like My Sister's Keeper. She wants her paychecks before she turns 40, which is a whole different age for actresses than it is for actors. Just ask Madeleine Stowe, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Rene Russo, Elisabeth Shue, Helen Hunt, Holly Hunter, Elizabeth Perkins, etc., etc.

I wonder if it's just a matter of time before Helen Hunt is starring in a new series for TNT or Showtime.

Something's Wrong with Esther

ORPHAN
(movie review)

***

Starring Vera Farmiga, Peter Sarsgaard, Isabelle Fuhrman, CCH Pounder, Jimmy Bennett, Margo Martindale and Karel Roden.
Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra.

Oh yes, there is something very wrong with Esther.

There is also something very right about a horror film that accomplishes its ultimate goal - to put the audience in suspense. Any flick can give you a good jumpscare, but actually putting you on the edge of your seat is a trickier proposition as moviegoers grow more and more savvy. Fortunately director Jaume Collet-Serra has fun with genre conventions. When the mother opens a refrigerator door at night, the music builds tightly so that you just know there's going to be someone holding a knife when she shuts the door. But no one's there and the music calms down. So each time it happens (opening the bathroom cabinet, slowly peering around the corner) we really don't know if anyone's going to be there or not.

The plot should do about as much good for adopting older children as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre did for rural law enforcement. As an adopter of two kids myself, I'll just say it exploits fears and prejudices about adopting, but it's a horror flick, so I might as well gripe about the inaccurate jumping patterns of mutant spiders in Eight Legged Freaks.

Isabelle Fuhrman, who was 11 when this was made, plays Esther, and a lot of the success of the film rests on her shoulders, and she's up to the task. She goes past Bad Seed / Good Son territory here, and while there are only so many twists a horror movie can have (they're all dead! no wait, it's a split personality!), the third act reveal here is surprising, out of left field, and makes complete sense.

The terror here builds slowly. A little too slowly, as no horror movie should have more than a two-hour running time. The movie has its flaws. Pertinent information is withheld at convenient times, the psychologist is too easily fooled, and the last few minutes traipses through cliche-ville. But the cast here is really good, and I was really worried that many members of this otherwise very nice family weren't going to make it out alive. I guess what I'm saying is that I cared about the characters. How novel.

Big Brother 11 Power Rankings

1. Jesse - The muscle-headed idiot from Season 10 is playing a little smarter this time around, though he's not about to let Russell go soon, as he knows the longer Russ is in, the longer he's in. His ego's still there, but he's a lot better about hiding it this time around.

2. Casey - The "hip-hop" teacher, and the oldest guy in the house, is playing it smart. I see him and Jesse facing off in a few weeks, but meanwhile Jesse's going to try to get out the last of the Populars while Casey works on getting out Chima.

3. Natalie - She's hot-headed at times, cool at other times, like a good athlete. She's willing to give up on Jeff but sees that Russell is hurting her team, and the way she's going she could easily be the last Athlete standing.

4. Jeff - He won the PoV when he needed to, and half the house loves him. And his main enemies CAN'T put him up for eviction.

5. Michelle - She's flying under the radar right now and will be able to continue to do so for a while. I'd be shocked if she wasn't the last Brain standing.

6. Kevin - Kinda weak right now. He'll get far by staying in Lydia's shadow, in that he'll always be safe as long as she's there, because anyone who wants him out wants her out more.

7. Lydia - She's proven to be a fighter, and with her blow-up with Russell, it looks like she'll be able to play both sides for a bit.

8. Jordan - If she survives tonight's vote, this blonde'll be considered one of the weakest players in the house, and therefore could almost guarantee at least another month of survival.

9. Ronnie - The "rat" is proving true to what many players before him have done, at least the ones who think they're smart. He overthinks everything, started playing both sides before there were any clear dividing lines, and he doesn't have the charm of, say, Dr. Will or BB10's Dan to win back sympathy.

10. Chima - Her diva attitude won't get her far.

11. Russell - The house bully has everyone on edge. I don't see him making it to the jury.

12. Laura - She's smarter than her enhancement surgery would suggest, but methinks she won't be able to survive tonight's vote.

Isla elevates 'Confessions'

CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC
(DVD Review)

***

Starring Isla Fisher, Hugh Dancy, Joan Cusack, John Goodman, John Lithgow, Kristin Scott Thomas, Leslie Bibb, Fred Armisen, Julie Hagerty and Krysten Ritter.
Directed by P.J. Hogan.

Here's a movie that shows the star power of Isla Fisher, the girl who broke onto the scene as the slightly crazy object fo Vince Vaughn's affections in Wedding Crashers. Fisher plays a selfish spend-freak who one day finds herself with all of her credit cards maxed out. Through a couple contrived incidents, she winds up at a financial magazine.

Now a charmless actress could have made this premise, and therefore most of the movie, insufferable. But we bounce along with it, pleasantly buoyed by Fisher's energy. And the cast is pretty deep. It's weird to see Joan Cusack kinda wasted as "the mother" but Joan's hit that magical age in Hollywood where only the Meryl Streeps get good roles. I'd wager in another year or two, we'll see Joan on a TV series.

The movie may or may not have been affected by its release - a movie that seems to be about the joys of excessive consumerism right as the economy's plummeting. But actually she hits the maxed-out skids fairly early, and the movie preaches against spending more than you have. Maybe Congress should watch this movie...

Keira's Dull 'Edge'

THE EDGE OF LOVE
(DVD Review)

*1/2

Starring Keira Knightley, Sienna Miller, Cillian Murphy and Matthew Rhys.
Directed by John Maybury.

This is like the anti-Atonement. It's a British film, a love story set with a World War II backdrop, starring Keira Knightley, but with vacuous characters that bounce around and sing while the air raid sirens blare. This movie is nostalgic for the good-old-days of careless, free-spirited bohemia. During war. And it's a true story, about the two women who loved poet Dylan Thomas, but he's a secondary character really.

The movie never builds to anything. It flashes artistic flourishes as though there was a narrative goal at one point. I've seen a hundred indie movies with this "plot" only with a fraction of the budget and set in a modern-day New York apartment by some mumbling twentysomethings who may or may not be employed.

Dull dull dull dull.

Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince - Movie Review

***1/2

Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Michael Gambon, Jim Broadbent, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Helena Bonham Carter, David Thewlis, Tom Felton, Bonnie Wright, Robbie Coltrane, Timothy Spall, Julie Walters, David Bradley, Evanna Lynch, Jessie Cave and Warwick Davis.
Directed by David Yates.

Resist as I tried, this movie had me comparing more in my head to the book than any previous. Maybe it's because all of the stuff they've left out of previous movies that are still noticeable subplots in the book are starting to affect the over-arching plot. Maybe it's because all previous Potter moves are stand alone, whereas this 2-1/2 hour tale feels like Empire Strikes Back, a hammock movie designed to set up the final showdown. Empire Strikes Back ain't bad company.

The three kids are growing up. They're sixteen, well into hormonial times. Harry realizes he has a thing for Ginny Weasley, and Hermione realizes her caring for Ron Weasley is growing beyond friendship. This movie is more grounded in reality than any previous Potter flick, at least as far as emotions go. This is a high school angst flick. It just happens to have wizards.

This movie focusses more on the relationship with headmaster Dumbledore and the chosen one, Harry. Each year Harry ages, it becomes more clear that he and Lord Voldemort are destined for a final showdown.

Each year also tends to focus on a new quirky teacher, and this year it's Potions professor Horace Slugborn (Jim Broadbent), brought out of retirement by Dumbledore's personal urging, as he may have valuable information about a previous Hogwarts student named Tom Malvolo Riddle, the future Dark Lord. Broadbent's as welcome in Hogwarts' halls are previously memorable guests like Kenneth Branagh's Gilderoy Lockhart or Brendan Gleeson's Mad-Eye Moody.

The tapestry of characters weaves thicker, and still, I got a real kick out of some of the line reads from been-here-the-whole-time pros like Alan Rickman's Snape and Maggie Smith's McGonagall.

Bring on Movie #7.