Ramona & Beezus - DVD Review

**1/2

Starring Joey King, Selena Gomez, John Corbett, Bridget Moynahan, Ginnifer Goodwin, Josh Duhamel and Sandra Oh.
Directed by Elizabeth Allen.

Perfectly acceptable rental for the kids. I grew up on Beverly Cleary's books and recognized many of the characters and personalities. Seeing them dramatized didn't really touch my nostalgia nerve, but Joey King embodied Ramona as best as any kid-actress I can imagine.

Trailer Watch

Season of the Witch

The greenscreen effects look really bad on the small screen, but I kinda like that the woman accused of being a witch actually has supernatural powers. This looks like it could spectacularly bad, but it could be genuinely entertaining too. The presense of Ron Perlman doesn't instantly guaranteee any level of quality. He was also in The Mutant Chronicles.

Little Fockers

Looks like it'll be the worst one yet. DeNiro, Stiller, Hoffman, Streisand, Wilson, Danner, Polo, and now Jessica Alba... All looks jumbled, thrown together.

Barney's Version

My main curiosity, oddly enough, is that this is the movie that got Rachelle LeFevre fired from Twilight: Eclipse. I'm not really sure what to make of this. I'm not a big fan of love stories that start out with one or both parties married to someone else, but Paul Giamatti is an interesting enough guy I'd be willing to go on the journey, if this got good reviews.

Morning Glory - Movie Review

**3/4

Starring Rachel McAdams, Harrison Ford, Diane Keaton, Patrick Wilson, Jeff Goldblum, John Pankow, Matt Malloy and Ty Burrell.
Directed by Roger Michell.

Rachel McAdams has that movie-star sparkle to her eye that makes me wonder why she doesn't work more. Here she plays the eternally perky Becky, a go-getter producer of a New Jersey morning-news show. After getting fired, she sends resumes everywhere and gets a break with IBS's Daybreak, the fourth-place national morning shows behind NBC's Today Show, ABC's Good Morning America, and "whatever that CBS show is."

Harrison Ford, in his best role in years, plays Mike Pomeroy, legendary evening newsman forced out by IBS. Now he's coasting on his contract fumes and Becky twists his arm to get him to come to Daybreak. THey clash. Mike refuses to play along with the entertaining fluffy side of a morning news program.

The movie has a few big laughs, but it works best when it focusses on the chipper Becky working on the gruff Mike. There's a romantic subplot in there for Becky, but it feels like a mandatory throw-in.

Many have compared this to Broadcast News, but it seems too different an animal to me to make any comparison fair. This movie is worried more about entertainment than news, and as such, it hits every predictable plot point exactly when you expect it to. I still liked it, but it's not going to stay in the system long. It was nice to just watch Ford, you know, act for once.

Megamind - Movie Review

***

Starring the voices of Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, David Cross, Brad Pitt and Ben Stiller.
Directed by Tom McGrath.

The superhero genre gets another tweaking, but this one fulfills the question I've wanted to see asked on-screen: What if the supervillain won?

Will Ferrell voices Megamind, a blue-headed alien sent to Earth as a baby, doomed to be a bad guy when his pod lands in the Metro City Prison yard. His nemesis is Metro Man, a lantern-jawed hero who always wins. But then one day, one of Megamind's outlandish schemes actually works. And with no hero to fight, what's a supervillain to do?

The movie has a lot of fun with the Superman back-story, and to remind us it's DreamWorks, the soundtrack's filled with 1980's tunes. It doesn't reach the soaring heights of How to Train Your Dragon and doesn't hold a candle to The Incredibles, but it's close to Despicable Me, and it definitely has its moments.

Grown Ups - DVD Review

*

Starring Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Salma Hayek, Maria Bello, Maya Rudolph, Joyce Van Patten, Steve Buscemi and Colin Quinn.
Directed by Dennis Dugan.

I imagine Sandler, Rock, Spade and Schneider sitting around reminiscing about their SNL days together. Someone mentions they miss Chris Farley. Kevin James walks by. Sandler says, "Hey! My I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry co-star! Get in here." As they continue to crack open beer cans and make each other laugh, someone else says, "We should film this."

None of them warm to a documentary so Sandler finds a co-writer and slaps together an outline of old friends reuniting for a funeral. Now they can sit around and swap stories when it's not their turn on camera. They can spend three months living this way. They bring in decent actresses like Salma Hayek and Maria Bello and Maya Rudolph to hang out with them. Sometimes they do have to be on camera so they come with activities like fishing, swimming, and hold a big chunk of the movie at a waterpark.

They're having so much fun they find ways to invite over old friends like Colin Quinn and Tim Meadows. Now that they're deep into it, someone says they need to think about the trailer.

Sandler: Well, we've got the waterpark.
Schneider: We need some fart jokes.
James: How about a rope swing? I could do it, like I'm afraid to let go and I come back and hit a tree.
Sandler: That sounds funny.
Spade: I'll fall face-down into poop.
Rock: Classic, man.

There are some weight jokes with James, like a pool collapsing and a speedboat that can't tug him, even though he looks about 50 pounds lighter than Mike from Mike & Molly.

Seriously, beyond friends wanting to work together and a cynical grab for a dollar, what was the point to this movie?

NBC's Outsourced - TV Review

Still not funny. I've been giving it quite a chance as part of my Thursday recordings because I work with India, but it gets a lot wrong and primarily, it's not funny. I don't care about the characters. And why do they work during the day there if they're taking all these calls from America? I guess his department only takes calls in the middle of the US night.

Leaves of Grass - DVD Review

**1/2

Starring Edward Norton, Tim Blake Nelson, Keri Russell, Josh Pais, Susan Sarandon, Richard Dreyfuss, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Melanie Lynskey, Maggie Siff and Ty Burrell.
Directed by Tim Blake Nelson.

This is a weird little comedy, in that writer/director Tim Blake Nelson doesn't seem sure what tone to take, or he's trying for tonal shifts that only directors like the Coen brothers can pull off.

Edward Norton plays indentical twin brothers. At first I was annoyed by the bumpkin brother Brady; Norton laid on the gol-durn accent awful thick-like but I got used to it after a while, and he was a very distinct character from the Ivy-League educated city brother Bill.

Bill gets word that Brady has been killed. Bill goes back to his hometown in Oklahoma to pay respects, only to learn that his brother's not really dead. Twas a ruse to get him down there. Brady needs Bill to rpetend to be him as an alibi. Turns out Brady's quite the accomplished weed grower/dealer, but he wants out of the business and needs Bill's help.

All of this is played for light-hearted enough comedy, but an hour in, people actually start getting killed, and the movie downshifts into genuine thriller territory. I won't say what note the movie ends on, but it hits a few more off-key ones until it gets there.

Susan Sarandon is wasted as the boys' mother, the youngest woman in a rest home. Richard Dreyfuss is amusing enough in an extended cameo as an upstanding businessman who's secretly quite the crime-lord (and upon reflection, very similar to his role in RED). It's an odd diversion of a movie, and Norton's performance carried me to the end, even if that end left me feeling hollow.

Oceans - DVD Review

**

Directed by Jacques Perrin & Jacques Cluzaud.

Pretty to look at, but never really comes together as a narrative. Felt like random sections of really good ocean footage where they told Pierce Brosnan, "Alright, narrate what you see."

Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben

It seems so soon to reboot the Spider-Man franchise, but what's done is done. We know director Marc Webb (500 Days of Summer) has cast Andrew Garfield (The Social Network) as Peter Parker, Emma Stone (Easy A) as Gwen Stacy, and Rhys Ifans (Notting Hill) as Dr. Connors/The Lizard. Now according to Deadline.com, it appears he's sewn up Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben and might be able to get Sally Field as Aunt May.

Sometimes...

Sometimes I'll have one of those days. One of those days where I remember when I was younger when I had this dream or that dream about what I'd be when I grew up. I wonder how life would be different had I pursued one of those dreams with a little more effort.

I'll read a good book and wonder why I haven't been able to write that next one myself. I'll watch a good movie and think about the screenplays I've written but have never come close to being put in front of someone who could actually make a decision, or I'll watch a play and remember when I did theater and I see formers peers have moved on to great success.

I'll listen to talking heads on the news and wonder where I might have wound up had I stuck with journalism.

I suppose everyone wonders where they might have wound up had they made this choice or that choice different.

I know I never dreamt of being the technical manager for an outsourcing company but here I am.

What am I really? I am not someone defined by an occupation, otherwise I think I'd be a cypher, a face in a position, a name associated with a responsibility.

There are some dreams I've had that have come true. Most not, but all dreams vanish when we wake up. Maybe I woke up a little today, or maybe it's just one of those days where you get bad news and just wish you were on a different path right now, a path filled with more fulfilling accomplishments and less bad news.

We live online, but is anyone really here?

When in Rome - DVD Review

*1/2

Starring Kristen Bell, Josh Duhamel, Will Arnett, Jon Heder, Dax Shepard, Danny DeVito, Anjelica Huston, Alexis Dziena, Peggy Lipton, Bobby Moynihan, Kristen Schaal, Don Johnson, Keir O'Donnell and Lee Pace.
Directed by Mark Steven Johnson.

This movies starts out like a million rom-coms. Career gal Kristen Bell can't find a man, but she's going to her sister's wedding. She has a Meet Cute with the groom's best man. We know they'll wind up together at the end, but what narrative device will keep them apart for an hour?

Oh my, does this go off the rails in spectacular fashion. Bell goes out to a fountain where people throw in coins for love. Feeling cynical, Bell decides to take five coins out of the fountain. This magically turns four men into Pepe le Pews, and a frightening cartoonish bunch they are. Picture Arnett, Heder and Shepard at their most comically obnoxious, and you'll get the idea. DeVito's subdued by comparison.

The final nail in the "They Don't Make Em Like They Used To" coffin is the cast dance over the closing credits, by a cast that can't dance.

Paranormal Activity 2 - Movie Review

***1/4

Starring Sprague Grayden, Brian Boland, Katie Featherston, Micah Slout and Molly Ephraim.
Directed by Tod Williams.

This one learned the lesson of what not to do from Blair Witch 2. It's faithful to the original, and even adds to the mythology. It also has some of the most genuine suspense of any movie this year.

This one is a prequel, taking place two months before the first one. After an apparent break-in, this family decides to install six security cameras throughout their house. I will warn that one of them never pays off. But with each changed shot, we look intently at every corner of the screen. "Something might happen here." Ands even when it does, it can provide a chill or a jolt.

My only complaint would be the pacing. This one slow-burns a little too slow, making the action in the final third feel a bit too rushed.

NBC's The Apprentice - 10/27

Too bad the ratings are so low. After a slow start, the non-celebrity Apprentice has picked up and is reminding me why the earlier seasons were successful. It has many potential winners with a handful of obnoxious candidates there to spice it up.

This week, the men were on a high after they not only beat the women, but crushed them in the last task. Granted, Clint called out David as a "plague" and a "virus" but the men won, so he gets to stick around. The women, meanwhile, need to pull together after rifts were further exposed under the now-fired Kelly.

Next challenge was theater-based. When Trump explains the challenge and asks the women who the project manager will be, no one says anything for three seconds, and then Lizza, the current low-woman on the totem pole, volunteers. Even though we learn she's never seen a musical play before. Steuart steps up for the men. (By the way, have you ever seen a worse way to spell Steuart?)

Priceless it was when Don Jr. came to check on the women's team, and Lizza let Brandy do the talking. She's already looking like toast. Meanwhile Stephanie boasts of having 30 years of music experience, and Poppy points out that Stephanie always claims to have the most experience of whatever the task is.

David, meanwhile, finally has a chance to shine. He comes through on the creative end and his teammates find newfound respect for them. He's still going to be a disaster next week, but...

The women's team loses, and primarily because they put no contact information in their materials for the judges. Now it looks like project manager Lizza is going to be the lamb before the slaughter, particularly since Mahsa and Stephanie have spent the entire task thinking about the pits they've been digging for Lizza. But then, the board room is an unpredictable place. While casually talking about last week's task, it comes out that Mahsa told the men before the board room how much they'd sold. Trump views that as very disloyal. Mahsa tries to defend herself by saying that Clint had told their sales amount first.

The men are already safely back at the suite, enjoying their success, watching events unfold on the TV. When Clint hears this, he storms back to the board room to call Mahsa a liar. Trump believes Clint more than Mahsa, and Mahsa the Abrasive One is fired.

Next week they mix up the teams. Currently I think Clint is the favorite to win this.

The final Saw

SAW 3D
aka SAW VII: THE FINAL CHAPTER

*1/2

Starring Costas Mandylor, Betsy Russell, Sean Patrick Flanery, Tobin Bell, Chad Donella, Dean Armstrong, Gina Holden and Cary Elwes.
Directed by Kevin Greutert.

If you've seen the first six, you've seen the seventh. There's no real underlying mystery anymore, no hidden meaning, no fake-outs. Where the first one had a great surprise ending, each subsequent movie has been less successful in conveying the same final punch.

This was the same movie as Saw VI. One guy has to go through a series of rooms, given tasks he must complete or someone he knows will die in one of those contraptions. Most of the time he barely fails. Meanwhile Hoffman, who has twisted Jigsaw's mission far beyond what it originally was supposed to be, is keeping just ahead of the cops as he tried to hunt down Jill, Jigsaw's widow who almost killed him at the end of Saw VI.

The last few minutes has this wrap-up where yeah, it feels like the end, but it felt more like another episode where they threw a better conclusion on there to make it the real end.

The 3D didn’t hurt or enhance. Most of the time I forgot it was in 3D until a limb or a weapon came flying at the screen.

I appreciated Cary Elwes’s cameo to make it full circle, but it also made me realize how much weight he’s put on recently.

Wednesday's TV Ratings

From yesterday.

Channel - Title - Viewers (million) / 18-49 Demo

8/7
ABC - The Middle - 9.43 / 2.8
- - - - Better with You - 7.76 / 2.5
CBS - Survivor: Nicaragua - 12.13 / 3.6
NBC - Undercovers - 5.46 / 1.3
FOX - 2010 World Series Hr 1 - 15.63 / 4.7
CW - America's Next Top Model - 2.94 / 1.4

9/8
ABC - Modern Family - 13.07 / 5.1
- - - - Cougar Town - 8.26 / 3.3
CBS - Criminal Minds - 13.93 / 3.4
NBC - Law & Order: SVU (r) - 5.27 / 1.4
FOX - 2010 World Series Hr 2 - 13.63 / 4.5
CW - Hellcats - 2.17 / 1.0

10/9
ABC - The Whole Truth - 4.90 / 1.4
CBS - The Defenders - 10.02 / 2.2
NBC - Law & Order: LA (r) - 4.52 / 1.2

The 2010 World Series won the night in total viewers, and Modern Family won the night in the 18-49 demo. Undercovers is sinking fast. Any show that loses in the demo to a CW show should be nervous.

Sex & the City 2 - DVD Review

*

Starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Chris Noth, John Corbett, Evan Handler, Jason Lewis, Alice Eve and Liza Minelli.
Directed by Michael Patrick King.

Jeez.

I have seen maybe two episodes of the series, and every once in a while I'll see a list on a magazine or website that calls S&TC one of the greatest comedies or Carrie Bradshaw one of the greatest TV characters or something. The first movie wasn't too bad; it played like five episodes in a row.

This movie too plays like five episodes in a row. Seriously, why do they keep making these almost 2-1/2 hours long? These five episodes are much worse than the previous five. Whatever appeal these characters had has been scrubbed away.

The movie spends the first hour - yes, hour - establishing what's been going on for two years and sets up for the four girls to get back to together for a luxurious trip to Abu Dhabi. Miranda's quit her job at a high-priced law firm, Charlotte's worried her husband might be a little too attracted to their new nanny, Samantha's still playing the Mighty Cougar role in her 50's, and Carrie's adjusting to married life with Mr. Big.

Trouble is, Carrie is the least likeable heroine on film in a while. I'd take any Katherine Heigl character over what Carrie has become. She's spoiled, self-centered, and whines about everything her husband does, even as every gesture he makes is one where he thinks it'll make her happy. When he suggests they take a couple days a week to "do their own thing" she asks: "Is this because I'm a b---- wife who nags you?" I'm sure several audience members yelled at the screen "Yes!"

There's a slo-mo shot of the four of them walking through the desert in their fabulous new clothes, and I thought to myself, "Where are they coming from?" This Abu Dhabi looks like Disneyland, and these four women are too shallow to see anything beyond the Arab-chic fashion they can wear. There's one scene where the four of them are singing "I Am Woman" at a luxurious karaoke bar and I remember going "Wait, how did they get here?" They've become four Marie Antoinettes.

This movie is about indulgence, expensive jewelry, and the latest shoes. It's the female equivalent of Transformers 2. Big, shiny, empty and dumb. I read one review that said it was like watching gay men playing with Barbie dolls for over two hours. That's apt.

NBC's The Event - TV Review

I had six episodes stacked up on my DVR before I decided to hunker down and watch it. The first episode was okay, I figured I'd give it a chance. Likeable enough cast with Jason Ritter, Laura Innes, Blair Underwood and Zjelko Ivanic. By the end of the second episode, where it became clear this was going to be a hybrid of Lost, FlashForward, V, and The 4400, I just deleted the rest of the episodes. The quickly sinking ratings tell me it'll be lucky to get a second season. Eh, who are we kidding? If it can stay above 5 million viewers NBC will renew it.

Side note: NBC's ratings in the 10/9 hour aren't much better now than they were when they put The Jay Leno Show there every night, but it is much more expensive for the channel. it'll take them a while to dig out of the hole they've dug. If NBC had just decided to do it two nights a week instead of five, it might have worked.

The Oxford Murders - DVD Review

**1/4

Starring Elijah Wood, John Hurt, Leonor Watling, Jim Carter, Julie Cox, Alex Cox and Dominique Pinon.
Directed by Alex de la Iglesia.

Originally made in early 2007, this movie dribbled across European screens in 2008, got thrown onto one screen for one week in the US this August, and now it's arrived on DVD.

What is it? It's about an American math student (Elijah Wood) trying to make a name for himself at Oxford, and he quickly butts heads with a less literally-minded professor (John Hurt), but when the two of them stumble upon a dead body, they try to use their reasoning and logic to deduce who killed her.

Elijah Wood, who'll have that babyface deep into his 40's, does okay, as does John Hurt, a ham at heart. The whole movie is those two, and some of their conversations get into lofty theory where I had to suspend my disbelief that these guys really knew what they were saying. For a good hour of it, it plays out like an episode of Numb3rs. So it's fine; it actually probably works better on the small screen. Why can't I ultimately recommend it? Because when we get the big explanation at the end of the movie on who the killer is and how they did it and why, I did not care. It was almost irrelevant.