Gulliver's Travels - DVD Review

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Starring Jack Black, Jason Segel, Emily Blunt, Amanda Peet, Billy Connolly, Chris O'Dowd, TJ Miller and Catherine Tate. Directed by Rob Letterman.

Jack Black... what can I say. I loved School of Rock, but lately it seems like he's picking projects where he does the same thing in different scenarios and it's just not funny anymore. Year One was an odious example, and this big-screen high-concept low-ambitioned comedy isn't much better.

Black plays mail-room slacker Lemuel Gulliver, a guy going nowhere aspiring to nothing. One day he plagarizes some articles to impress a hot editor in his building, and she immediately sends him on a writing assignment to the Bermuda triangle. Naturally he gets caught in a whirlpool out there (with some inept green-screening, I might add) and land in Lilliput, an island where little people can instantly build contraptions to trap giants, as though one washes up on shore every year.

The likable-enough cast is trapped in this Blackian world of easy punchlines. The finale where everyone dances with Black as he sings "War" made me want to hide my face.

There is no aspiration here to make it a memorable movie. There's no ambition beyond lowbrow humor and making as many elementary kid as possible giggle when Gulliver pees to put out a palace fire.

P.S. Emily Blunt tried to get out of making this so she could be Black Cat in Iron Man 2. Poor thing.

OWN's Sons of Perdition

Directed by Tyler Measom & Jennilyn Mertin.

This documentary was in a film festival or two last year and had brief releases in theaters. It aired on OWN this week and I was able to record it and watch it.

It's the story of teenage boys who have escaped Colorado City, aka the "Crick", the compound run by fundamentalist Warren Jeffs. You can't help but feel for these boys as they unwind in the real world and try to figure out how to move forward without their families.

We get melancholy shots of polygamists working on their lands, and you can just feel the isolation and oppression of that environment. It's worth seeking out.

One thing I learned from Warren Jeffs: the Care Bears are evil.

A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy

Continuing to catch up on old Woody Allen titles.

This 1982 trifle from Woody is okay. It's about three couples spending the evening together and even if it had a benign title, we know that because it's Woody, not all the couples will remain faithful by the time the night is over. I was amused by setting it in the 1900's, where Woody's a Wright-brother-esque inventor, and I enjoyed Jose Ferrer as the pompous professor.

TV Season Finales - 30 Rock, Cougar Town, Chuck, etc.

30 ROCK - I tend to enjoy it while I watch it, but if it got cancelled, it wouldn't affect me. In fact, the series really seems to only have one more season in it.

AMERICAN IDOL - I quit watching around the top nine. Just didn't care. And as I'd read each week about who got voted off, it affirmed to me my apathy was justified. When is the last time the actual winner made a splash in the music world? Runner-ups (Jennifer Hudson, Chris Daughtry, Adam Lambert) tend to have just as much success as winners. (Did Kris Allen ever do anything?) I do still have the finale on my DVR but don't know if I'll actually watch it.

SURVIVOR - Boston Rob played a masterful game, but the viewers suffered for it. When you know who's going to win and there are still twelve people playing, it's just painful. Rob lucked out by getting the younger useful-idiot tribe. Felt bad for the four or five players that didn't get any screentime in the live finale. Did enjoy Julie's speech to Rob about making sure he raises his daughter to never let a man take advantage of her the way he did with Natalie.

THE AMAZING RACE - I can't say my favorite team won. In fact of the final three teams, the sisters were who I wanted third. But that's what's great about this show. You never know when a bad taxi driver's going to cost you a million bucks.

THE GOOD WIFE - I figured Alicia and Peter were going to break up; after all, they keep emphasizing how Alicia and Will still have feeling for each other, and Will (Josh Charles) is in the opening credits, and Peter (Chris Noth) is always "special guest star." But I like that Cary (Matt Czuchry) is now going to be working for Peter, still on the opposite side of Lockhart/Gardner. It's a sign of a good season finale when I look forward to how the characters' decision will reverberate in the fall.

COUGAR TOWN - The cul-de-sac crew are best when things are kept light, and the bromance between Andy and Bobby is the best since Scrubs' JD & Turk. Also loved the Danny Pudi-Dan Byrd cross-cameos on each other's shows (especially since they're all different networks). But it's consistent for Grayson to want a kid, and does 42-year-old Jules really want another kid when her only son is in college? It means either Grayson and Jules have to split, or Jules gets pregnant.

CHUCK - I've enjoyed this show, but I'm glad it's only getting 13 more episodes to wrap it up. I feel like it's pretty much run its course. They've hinted at one giant conspiracy behind Fulcrum, Volkoff, the Intersect, EVERYTHING, and so we'll get this fall to learn what that is. After that, give it a good series finale and call it a day. But they need to find a way to get Jewel Staite a guest spot.

Red Dwarf Closing Credits

Just one of my favorite TV theme songs ever.

The Mechanic - DVD Review

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Starring Jason Statham, Ben Foster, Donald Sutherland, Tony Goldwyn and Christa Campbell. Directed by Simon West.

Never saw the 1972 Charles Bronson original, but it feel more like a remake of a 1992 Jean-Claude Van Damme remake of a 1972 Charles Bronson film. Jason Statham is one of a handful of credible action heroes out there, but he's no hero here.

He's Arthur Bishop, a "mechanic", another name for assassin, and one day his assignment is to kill his mentor (Donald Sutherland). Rather than say no and try to bring down his employer who'd dare make such an order, he follows through. He kills him. Ugh.

This is in the first 15 minutes. Then he meets his mentor's ne'er-do-well son (Ben Foster) and for some reason, the son wants to become an assassin. Bishop decides to mentor him, train him to become an assassin too. Not much hesitation either. "Sure, I'll train you to kill people."

We know where this movie must eventually go. Statham can only do so much to distract the audience. We can take the mildest of comforts that everyone they're killing is worse, but it's just another amoral disposable action movie, with nothing unique or creative enough to warrant it being sought out over any number of other choices.

Bridesmaids - Movie Review

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Starring Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Chris O'Dowd, Melissa McCarthy, Jon Hamm, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Ellie Kemper, Jill Clayburgh, Matt Lucas and Annie Mumolo. Directed by Paul Feig.

Kristen Wiig is in pretty much every sketch on Saturday Night Live, and she also finds time to take supporting roles in films like MacGruber and Paul. But now she gets to take center stage in a full-length movie, and she shows serious acting chops. She is more than a sum of sketches. It helps that she co-wrote the movie.

This has been called The Hangover for Women, but that oversimplifies. It's very funny, but there's a dark undercurrent to it, a layer of sadness as Annie (Wiig) has her life unravel while trying to be a good maid of honor for her best friend Lillian (SNL alum Rudolph).

The central conflict is with Helen, played by Rose Byrne (Insidious), a younger, richer, prettier friend Lillian's recently acquired, and Helen is also quite competitive. Annie and Helen has to keep the plastic smiles on for Lillian as they try to one-up each other, all while pretending that's not what they're doing.

Judd Apatow helped produce it, and it does feature some of the trademark gross-out humor. It could've easily trimmed ten minutes from its running time without losing anything, but I predict now that Wiig will get a Golden Globe nomination for her work here.

Four Lions - DVD Review

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Starring Riz Ahmed, Arsher Ali, Nigel Lindsay, Kayvan Novak and Benedict Cumberbatch.
Directed by Chris Morris.

This British satire gives Islamic extremists the appropriate kick in the teeth. Four friends have decided to engage in jihad, but they can't decide what to blow up, or why, exactly. It goes down some dark roads, but I admired its head-on approach to its subject matter, and it hits its target more than once.

The Purple Rose of Cairo

In honor of Midnight in Paris being the best-reviewed Woody Allen movie in years, I've been trying to catch his older titles that are supposed to be good that I haven't seen, and I managed to catch this one this week. It's a light-hearted fantasy, one of the last comedies where Woody's touch felt uncynical. It gave me a whole new appreciation for Jeff Daniels, playing not only the character who walks off screen, but the actor who created the character. I also really enjoyed the characters stuck on the screen, Brigadoon's Van Johnson and Lost Boys' Edward Herrmann among them.

Random Movie Stuff - 5/27/11

- Snow White & the Huntsman (starring Kristen Stewart and Charlize Theron) had its release date moved up to June 1, 2012. In response, Relativity moved its Snow White movie (starring Julia Roberts and Lily Collins) to March 16, 2012. The Relativity one is said tob e more family-friendly, while Snow White & the Huntsman is going to be more for the PG-13 Twilight crowd.

- Jessica Biel and Bill Nighy are joining Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale and Bryan Cranston in the Total Recall remake, scheduled to open August 3, 2012.

- Andy Samberg (Saturday Night Live) and Rashida Jones (Parks & Recreation) will star in Celeste & Jesse Forever, about a divorcing couple who try to remain friends. Elijah Wood and Emma Roberts co-star.

- Zach Braff (Scrubs) has joined the cast of Oz: The Great & Powerful, a prequel starring James Franco (The Wizard), Michelle Williams (Glinda), Rachel Weisz (Witch of the East) and Mila Kunis (Witch of the West). It's scheduled to open March 8, 2013.

- Jeff Conaway has died after being taken off life support, which he's been on since a drug overdose on May 11. He was the star of movies (Grease, Pete's Dragon) and television (Taxi, Babylon 5) and appeared on VH1's Celebrity Rehab in 2008. He was 60.

HBO's Game of Thrones: Season 1, Episode 6

Since I read the book recently I know pretty much everything that's coming, but it's still so enjoyable to see it all dramatized on screen. Episode 6 was the best yet in this solid series, with Ned Stark (Sean Bean) making some bold decisions as Hand of the King while the King (Mark Addy) is off hunting. We're getting more from the wily Tyrion (Peter Dinklage, living up to high expectations), and the selfish, power-mad Viserys finally got his come-uppance.

TV Season Finales - Community, The Office, Parks & Recreation, The Mentalist

COMMUNITY - Loved the two-parter paintball tournament episode. I tend to love most episodes, but more so when they get into deep meta parody mode. Part 1 was a spaghetti western send-up; Part 2 went with Star Wars. So many gems in there, from Abed insisting on being the Han Solo type before Jeff takes it "by default" to Pierce faking heart attacks to trick opponents into not shooting him.

THE OFFICE - I enjoyed the hour-long parade of candidates for manager, but some I liked more than others, and I didn't like the cliffhanger ending. The rumor is that Catherine Tate is going to get the job. I think that would be a huge mistake. If they're not going to promote from in-house. Her character was irritating, and while Jim was anti-Dwight, there's no way he'd let that be the candidate he goes with. My hope (if it's not in-house) is that it goes to the mesmorizing James Spader. If it goes to Tate, eh, I'll still watch, but it feels like the Office is revving up the motorcycle, wearing the leather jacket, and the shark is swimming around in the cage.

PARKS AND RECREATION - Ron Swanson is one of the best characters on television. I thought the penultimate episode was better than the finale (with Ron in the circular desk), but this show is comfortably one of the best comedies on TV.

THE MENTALIST - Loved the reveal of Red John. That scene was the best scene of the year for this show, which is already becoming predictable and stale in other aspects. I am looking forward to the repercussions of Patrick killing a man in cold blood in front of dozens of witnesses.

Blue Valentine - DVD Review

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Starring Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams, John Doman and Mike Vogel.
Directed by Derek Cianfrance.

It's like watching home movies out of order of a young couple who met, fell in love, married, had a child, fell out of love, and split. It features very, very good acting from Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams, very believable and natural. Other than that, it's a giant bummer. Heavy on the "Blue," light on the "Valentine."

Weekend Box Office

For the weekend of May 20-22.

1. Pirates of the Caribbean 4 - $90.1 million - 1 wk (BV)
. . . 4155 screens / $21,685 per screen
2. Bridesmaids - $21.06 ($59.52) - 2 wks (U) -19.8%
. . . 2937 / $7170
3. Thor - $15.5 ($145.41) - 3 wks (Par) -55.3%
. . . 3924 / $3950
4. Fast Five - $10.63 ($186.22) - 4 wks (U) -48%
. . . 3622 / $2935
5. Rio - $4.65 ($131.65) - 6 wks (Fox) -43.8%
. . . 2593 / $1793
6. Priest - $4.6 ($23.68) - 2 wks (SG) - 69.2%
. . . 2864 / $1606
7. Jumping the Broom - $3.7 ($31.32) - 3 wks (TS) -47.6%
. . . 1472 / $2514
8. Something Borrowed - $3.43 ($31.43) - 3 wks (WB) -50.2%
. . . 2606 / $1314
9. Water for Elephants - $2.15 ($52.43) - 5 wks (Fox) -48.8%
. . . 1894 / $1135
10. Madea's Big Happy Family - $.99 ($51.76) - 5 wks (LG) -55.3%
. . . 912 / $1086
11. Soul Surfer - $.95 ($40.63) - 7 wks (TS) -48%
. . . 984 / $965
12. Midnight in Paris - $.58 - 1 wk (SP)
. . . 6 / $96,500

Let's work backwards through this. Midnight in Paris had an amazing per-screen average for Woody Allen, and it's getting his best reviews since Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Soul Surfer, Something Borrowed, Jumping the Broom, all batting singles and hitting their targets, breaking even but nothing to write home about. Madea's Big Happy Family and Water for Elephants are mildly profitable. Priest is sinking like a stone and can be called the first real flop of summer. Rio's in the green, actually passing Rango, which had a higher budget. Fast Five should safely make it to $200 million, and Thor will likely peak around $185 million.

Kristen Wiig's phone should have received a phonecall already from Universal executives to see if she has any pitch ideas for Bridesmaids 2. It's getting great word-of-mouth and dropping only 19% in its second week signifies it'll be probably surpass $100 million. Not bad for a $33 million budget.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is being called a disappointing opening. How can a Part 4 of any franchise be called disappointing? I'm pretty sure Indiana Jones 4 is the only to open higher, but considering that Pirates 3 openind to $135 million, that's where the expectation comes from. But sheesh, add in the overseas take and it's already at $346 million. I'll take that kind of disappointment anyday, especially considering it's getting worse reviews than Pirates 3.

Random Movie Stuff 5/20/11

- Joey King (Ramona & Beezus), Matthew Modine (Full Metal Jacket) and Tom Conti (The Tempest) have joined the cast of The Dark Knight Rises, starring Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Anne Hathaway, Tom hardy, Marion Cotillard, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Juno Temple and Nestor Carbonell.

- Tom Cruise has officially signed on for Oblivion, a post-apocalyptic sci-fi actioner directed by Joseph Kosinski (Tron: Legacy). Cruise has Mission Impossbile 4 opening this December, and the musical Rock of Ages next summer.

- No word yet who she'll play, but Holly Hunter has joined the cast of Romeo & Juliet directed by Carlo Carlei, which will star Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit) as Juliet. Hunter has also joined the cast of Still I Rise, starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and Viola Davis as two women trying to change a public school in inner-city Pittsburgh.

HBO is ruining Game Change

When I first heard HBO was going to do a movie based on Game Change, the Heilemann/Halperin best-seller, I was excited. And, okay, Ed Harris and Julianne Moore as John McCain and Sarah Palin were good marquee names. But as each day when by, when casting news only circled the McCain storyline, I grew more frustrated and angry.

Game Change was mainly, mainly I stress, about Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama. You had your McCain subplot, and you had your John Edwards subplot, but really, it was about how the underdog Team Obama somehow overcame Team Clinton's inevitability.

Cutting out Hillary and Barack and Edwards of Game Change, to me, is ridiculous. Why would HBO do this? Game Change was a warts-and-all look at everyone (though they were nicest to Obama). But by cutting out about 70% of the book to only show McCain and Palin, I can't help but think this is strictly politically motivated and calculated.

I'm used to HBO programming to be mostly left-leaning, and that's fine. That's Hollywood. But to only focus on the Republicans in 2008, and to then put this movie on TV as the GOP primaries are getting close? Really?

Could be wrong. IMDB.com has the cast list and it looks like only the McCain/Palin stuff was filmed. Maybe we'll get Game Change II in 2013, you know, after (they hope) Obama has been re-elected and a little TV movie can do him no harm.

My current attitude is forget the movie, just read (or re-read) the book.

No Strings Attached - DVD Review

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Starring Natalie Portman, Ashton Kutcher, Kevin Kline, Greta Gerwig, Lake Bell, Cary Elwes, Ludacris, Jake Johnson, Mindy Kaling and Abby Elliott. Directed by Ivan Reitman.

Sex is nothing. Sex is meaningless. Sex is just something fun people engage in, no big deal.

These are the lies the characters tell themselves, and while many of them may bounce around in hedonistic fashion, eventually, if they sleep with the same person, and that person is someone they like, feelings may develop. (Oh, no! Not feelings!)

Despite the best efforts of the main two players to dehumanize intimacy, they just can't. It is a rom-com, and you know where it's going, and while I like seeing Kevin Kline get work (as Kutcher's father), and see Natalie Portman in something without special effects, I couldn't shake the going-through-the-motions of it all.

Ever notice how many rom-coms are about unhealthy relationships that end with them breaking up, one running to the other, saying they're sorry, and then ending on an upbeat note where in the back of your head, you're thinking, "Based on the previous 90 minutes, I'm not really sure that relationship's suddenly going to be healthy and ever after"?

No? Well, I have.

P.S. This movie - at 47% RotTom ranking - is the best-reviewed movie of Ashton Kutcher's career. I certainly understand why he took the Two and a Half Men job. He'll make more doing two episodes of that show than any movie he'd star in.

Rabbit Hole - DVD Review

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Starring Nicole Kidman, Aaron Eckhart, Dianne Wiest and Sandra Oh.
Directed by John Cameron Mitchell.

What works here are the honest moments and performances, especially Eckhart, as one of the most sympathetic characters he's been allowed to play. He and Kidman play parents grieving their death of their only child, and it's not an exercise of wallowing in misery; it's a more realistic take on the day-to-day coping of two people whose lives have been forever altered.

But whatever chemicals Kidman has injected into her forehead, she should remove them.