***
Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Michael Sheen, Billy Burke, and Dakota Fanning.
Directed by Chris Weitz.
Complaining about all the angst in the Twilight series like complaining there's too much magic stuff in Harry Potter. This is for teen girls, and it turns the audience into teen girls while it's running. Heck, when Jacob rips his shirt off the first time, pretty much every woman in our auditorium squealed with delight.
I liked it about as much as the first one, maybe a little more so thanks to Michael Sheen (Frost/Nixon) and Dakota Fanning showing up as two powerful vampires.
The Cullens, that vampire family, have decided to move out of Forks, WA, after Jasper loses it and almost eats Bella. But Bella keeps seeing Edward in swishy visions, so she can pine and mope and brood. Meanwhile, changes have been coming to her buddy Jacob, now 30 pounds buffer, and not quite human.
I already know the arc of the Twilight saga, since my wife read the books and I knew I wouldn't. I wish Jacob had a shot with Bella, because Edward just isn't good for her. Why is this 109-year-old hanging out in high school anyway?
The movie is about angst and longing and desire unfulfilled, and in that way, it reminds me of the old-time love stories, where the two lovers never consumated, so the movie ends with tension unreleased. Let's go make out in the car now.
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