Here's how I'd rank the 43 movies from 2022 I've seen so far.
1. Best of the Year So Far
2. Thumbs Up
3. Thumbs Sideways
4. Thumbs Down
5. Worst of the Year So Far
===BEST OF THE YEAR SO FAR (5) ===
1. TOP GUN MAVERICK
Starring Tom Cruise, Miles Teller, Jennifer Connelly, Jon Hamm, Glen Powell, Val Kilmer, Ed Harris, Lewis Pullman, Charles Parnell and Monica Barbaro.
Written by Peter Craig, Justin Marks, Ehren Kruger, Eric Warren Singer & Christopher McQuarrie.
Directed by Joseph Kosinski.
Pretty amazing what they've pulled off here. They revisit a movie over 30 years later, use many of the same story beats, and yet they improve on the original in just about every way. That never happens.
Pete "Maverick" Mitchell is still just a captain well into his 50's, through his habit of angering too many admirals. When he's on the verge of getting kicked out of the Navy for good, Admiral "Iceman" Kasansky calls on him to train the Top Gun pilots for a new and deadly mission. Can the famous authority-bucker instill discipline into students that remind him of himself? And among the pilots he's training is Rooster (Miles Teller), son of his late friend Goose.
I have some nostalgia for the original, but pretty much everything works. The mission and its stakes are clear, we get to know the pilots, and I did tear up at the reunion of Maverick and Iceman, and at the thought of my late father if he'd lived long enough to see this reunion. This is exactly what summer movies are supposed to be.
2. EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE
Starring Michelle Yeoh, Stephanie Hsu, Jamie Lee Curtis and Ke Huy Quan.
Written & Directed by Dan Kwan & Daniel Scheinert.
I admire this movie's chutzpah, its creativity, and its balls-to-the-wall willingness to thrown everything out there. It does more with the multiverse concept than Doctor Strange ever thought of. Had a blast, and good for Michelle Yeoh to finally be the star of an action comedy.
3. THE BATMAN
Starring Robert Pattinson, Zoe Kravitz, Paul Dano, Colin Farrell, Jeffrey Wright, John Turturro, Andy Serkis and Peter Sarsgaard.
Written by Matt Reeves & Peter Craig.
Directed by Matt Reeves.
A brooding ponderous take on Gotham's favorite marsupial-based superhero, this one takes its time establishing the city as its own character. I didn't mind the running time at all, as it was willing to linger on those shots of dark shadows, forgotten pages, and so forth. Each villain gets their own scene to shine; I hope next time around they give Robert Pattinson a little bit more to do.
4. ELVIS
Starring Austin Butler, Tom Hanks, Olivia DeJonge, Helen Thomas, Richard Roxburgh, Kelvin Harrison Jr, David Wenham, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Luke Bracey and Dacre Montgomery.
Written by Baz Luhrmann, Sam Bromell, Craig Pearce & Jeremy Doner.
Directed by Baz Luhrmann.
Baz Luhrmann is nothing if he is not a showman, and so it seems the perfect marriage of someone like Baz to take on the larger-than-life Elvis Presley in a biopic that's exhilarating and tragic. I don't know how much Elvis has to say to the 21st century, but in a time where carny-type con-man control so much behind the scenes, it feels timely to tell this tory at this time.
Austin Butler, currently best known as the murderous cowboy-hippie Tex from Once Upon A Time in Hollywood, gives a star-making performance here. I eventually forgot about him and felt like I'm just watching Elvis.
5. PREY
Starring Amber Midthunder, Dakota Beavers, Dane DiLiegro and Stormee Kipp.
Written by Patrick Aison & Dan Trechtenberg.
Directed by Dan Trachtenberg.
It was never intended to be Best Picture material, but a really well-done genre picture can be just as fulfilling. Predator is a basic classic from 1987 that's seen many inferior sequels and spin-offs, but this prequel is easily the best follow-up of all of them. This takes place in 1700's America, and Amber Midthunder plays Naru, a young Comanche who first sees this Predator and must warn her people about this thing she saw she can't fully comprehend.
===THUMBS UP (18)===
THE OUTFIT
Starring Mark Rylance, Zoey Deutch, Dylan O'Brien, Johnny Flynn and Simon Russell Beale.
Written by Jonathan McClain & Graham Moore.
Directed by Graham Moore.
This puzzle-box feels like it was adapted from a stage play, and that's not a bad thing. Mark Rylance (Bridge of Spies, Dunkirk) is front and center as a cutter (maker of fine suits) in 1956 Chicago whose main clients are in the mob. Over the course of one night, the mild-mannered shop-owner must deal with increasingly cagey gangsters who believe they have a rat in their crew. I really enjoyed watching the layers being pulled back and seeing which characters have ulterior motives.
MAD GOD
Starring the voices of Alex Cox and Nikita Roman.
Written & Directed by Phil Tippett.
This dialogue-free stop-motion animated picture is like being trapped in a nightmare written by HP Lovecraft & George Orwell, produced by David Cronenberg, and directed by Terry Gilliam. This descent into madness is not so much a movie as an Experience, one you have to see to believe. There's nothing else out there quite like it.
THE SEA BEAST
Starring the voices of Karl Urban, Zaris-Angel Hator, Jared Harris, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Dan Stevens and Jim Carter.
Written by Chris Williams & Nell Benjamin.
Directed by Chris Williams.
Netflix has been improving its original animated feature offerings. This straightforward action-adventure has a real Master & Commander flavor to it, following a crew who hunts sea monsters, but an orphaned girl stows away on the ship to watch the crew in action. It's predictable but the creatures are fun and it has a grittiness not usually felt in children's fare.
TURNING RED
Starring the voices of Rosalie Chiang, Sandra Oh, Ava Morse and James Hong.
Written by Domee Shi, Julia Cho & Sarah Streicher.
Directed by Domee Shi.
Pixar's latest is like a caffeinated gender-swap update on Teen Wolf. Meilin is a good student, good daughter, good friend whose life gets turned upside-down when she learns the hard way that the women in her family occasionally transform into a red panda once they hit puberty.
DEATH ON THE NILE
Starring Kenneth Branagh, Gal Gadot, Emma Mackey, Armie Hammer and Annette Bening.
Written by Michael Green.
Directed by Kenneth Branagh.
Kenneth Branagh's second outing as the Belgian detective Hercule Poirot is a slight improvement over his previous effort, so I therefore hope we eventually get a third.
THE BLACK PHONE
Starring Ethan Hawke, Mason Thames, Madeleine McGraw, Jeremy Davies and James Ransome.
Written by Scott Derrickson & C. Robert Cargill.
Directed by Scott Derrickson.
From the guys who brought you Sinister and Doctor Strange! This is based on a short story by Stephen King's son Joe Hill, and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. There's been a rash of kidnappings in a small town in 1978, and we follow Finney (Mason Thames), the latest victim of the masked man known as The Grabber (Ethan Hawke). He is kept prisoner in a basement that has a rotary black phone on the wall. The phone supposedly doesn't work, but when it rings, he answers it, and he's able to converse with the Grabber's previous late victims.
This does a good job of blending realistic-feeling horror with supernatural elements. Hawke could just let the mask do the work, but he adds a level of malevolence that makes us truly fear for Finney's safety.
DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS
Starring Benedict Cumberbatch, Elizabeth Olsen, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Benedict Wong.
Written by Michael Waldron.
Directed by Sam Raimi.
Sam Raimi puts his stamp on the MCU, with elements more resembling his horror efforts than his Maguire Spider-Man trilogy. The good doctor finds himself battling against one of the universe's most powerful Avengers, and he has to hop to different universes to figure out how to stop her.
THE NORTHMAN
Starring Alexander Skarsgard, Nicole Kidman, Anya Taylor-Joy, Ethan Hawke and Bjork.
Written by Sjon & Robert Eggers.
Directed by Robert Eggers.
Robert Eggers (The VVitch, The Lighthouse) likes things dark and mystical. Here we get the story of Amleth, a Viking prince whose uncle kills his father. He escapes and spends years vowing revenge. Alexander Skarsgard shines as the determined, eternally angry prince, and Eggers regulars like Anya Taylor-Joy and Willem Dafoe show up to keep things interesting. It's one of the most brutal movies I've seen in a while. It's said that this tale was inspiration for Shakespeare's Hamlet, and I can see that.
THE BAD GUYS
Starring the voices of Sam Rockwell, Marc Maron, Awkwafina, Craig Robinson, Anthony Ramos, Zazie Beetz, Richard Ayoade and Alex Borstein.
Written by Etan Cohen
Directed by Pierre Perifel.
I'm not familiar with the source material, but this is based on a series of children's graphic novels about the "bad guys" in the animal kingdom who get the opportunity to be good for a change. The breezy plot is easy enough for kids to follow, while it heartily winks at the heist films of Soderbergh and the crime films of Tarantino for parents. I'd see a sequel.
THE MAN FROM TORONTO
Starring Kevin Hart, Woody Harrelson, Jasmine Mathews, Kaley Cuoco and Ellen Barkin.
Written by Robbie Fox, Chris Bremner & Jason Blumenthal.
Directed by Patrick Hughes.
Mistaken identity comedy with genuine laughs thanks to the chemistry between the two leads. Kevin Hart plays a hapless salesman who is mistaken for a world-class assassin known only as The Man from Toronto (Woody Harrelson). He then has to keep pretending he's the hitman in order to stop a terrorist plot.
SCREAM (2022)
Starring Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Jenna Ortega and Jack Quaid.
Written by James Vanderbilt & Guy Busick.
Directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett.
It's technically Scream 5, and I find it obnoxious they just named it Scream so from now on we have to put the year after the title when referring to this in relation to the original. Anyway, Ghostface still has it. It's about as good as any other Scream sequel, and I like the new rules for the reboot.
THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT
Starring Nicolas Cage, Pedro Pascal, Tiffany Haddish, Sharon Horgan and Ike Barinholtz.
Written by Tom Gormican & Kevin Etten.
Directed by Tom Gormican.
Nicolas Cage's most meta movie since Adaptation. He plays himself, a hard-working actor who nevertheless keeps losing his money, so he agrees to spend a weekend with his biggest fan for $1 million. Trouble is, his biggest fan is suspected to be the head of the cartel. The more Cage movies you've seen, the more enjoyable it is.
FRESH
Starring Daisy Edgar-Jones and Sebastian Stan.
Written by Lauryn Kahn.
Directed by Mimi Cave.
This darkly funny horror flick feels like a send-up of the pitfalls of modern dating. It starts out like a bland meet-cute rom-com, but once the girl goes to the boy's home, we get to the first big twist, and her evening turns into a nightmare. There is sufficient gore and queasy parts, and the movie sails by based on the charisma of its two leads.
DOWNTON ABBEY: A NEW ERA
Starring Hugh Bonneville, Maggie Smith, Elizabeth McGovern, Michelle Dockery, Jim Carter, Hugh Dancy, Allen Leech, Dominic West and Sophie McShera.
Written by Julian Fellowes.
Directed by Simon Curtis.
We return to 1920's England in the second film chronicling the life of the Crowleys, and I enjoyed this one a little more than the first one. The twin plots involve Lady Grantham (Maggie Smith) inheriting a villa in the south of France from an old beau, and then a Hollywood film crew desiring to use Downton as a location. Doesn't sound like much story, but when you have 30-something characters to juggle, it doesn't need much more than that.
CHA CHA REAL SMOOTH
Starring Dakota Johnson, Cooper Raiff, Leslie Mann and Brad Garrett.
Written & Directed by Cooper Raiff.
Quirky dramedy about a 22-year-old who hasn't figured out what career path he wants who gets a side-job as a bar mitzvah party-starter who gets the shy kids out on the dance floor. While doing this, he falls for the mother (Dakota Johnson) of an autistic girl. As writer, director, and star, Raiff hogs a lot of camera time but he's able to balance it out by giving his co-stars chances to shine, in particular Johnson.
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 2
Starring Jim Carrey, James Marsden, Tika Sumpter, Ben Schwartz and Idris Elba.
Written by Pat Casey, Josh Miller & John Whittington.
Directed by Jeff Fowler.
About as good as the first one, and I kinda liked the first one. Sonic is getting used to life on Earth, but a porcupine-looking warrior named Knuckles has crossed the galaxy to find him, believing Sonic holds the key to ultimate power. Dr. Robotix (Jim Carrey) hears this and offers to help. They find a way to sideline James Marsden for most of the film, like an Alvin & the Chipmunks movie that doesn't want too much Dave to get in the way.
HUSTLE
Starring Adam Sandler, Queen Latifah, Juancho Hernangomez, Robert Duvall, Ben Foster, Kenny Smith, Anthony Edwards, Jordan Hull, Heidi Gardner, Jaleel White, Willy Hernangomez, Jordan Clarkson, Doc Rivers and Julius Erving.
Written by Will Fetters & Taylor Materne.
Directed by Jeremiah Zagar.
This is good Adam Sandler. While he's put out a bunch of very skippable comedies on Netflix, Sandler has also appeared in some genuinely good films lately, like The Meyerowitz Stories and Uncut Gems. Here he's in the mode for quality, and it's decent. Super predictable, but still entertaining.
Here he plays a longtime scout for the Philadelphia 76ers. He'd like to fulfill his dream of becoming an assistant coach, but he has one more season to find a gem for the team. He stumbles upon a green player balling in a park in Spain. The Utah Jazz's Juancho Hernangomez plays Bo Cruz, not asked to do too much but nails the scenes where he needs to stretch. I was even more impressed by the Minnesota Timberwolves' Anthony Edwards as the movie's cocky villain, projected lottery pick Kermet Wilts.
The movie is FULL of NBA vets, current and former. I got a kick out of Kenny Smith playing an actual character, but there also being a scene from the NBA on TNT with Ernie, Chuck and Shaq (but no Kenny!) As I said, you'll see every twist and turn coming, but it still hit the emotional beats just right.
THE LOST CITY
Starring Sandra Bullock, Channing Tatum, Daniel Radcliffe and Brad Pitt.
Written by Oren Uziel, Dane Fox, Aaron Nee & Adam Nee.
Directed by Aaron & Adam Nee.
It mostly resembles an update of Romancing the Stone, but if Michael Douglas' character was really the cover model for Kathleen Turner's adventure-romances books. Sandra Bullock is the author here, and she and her books' cover model (Channing Tatum) get kidnapped in order to look for a buried treasure that an eccentric millionaire (Daniel Radcliffe) is convinced is real, as it was in one of her books. I liked it a little more than Uncharted, but it feels like the exact same genre.
===THUMBS SIDEWAYS (9) ===
X
Starring Mia Goth, Jenna Ortega, Brittany Snow, Martin Henderson and Kid Cudi.
Written & Directed by Ti West.
The first half of this movie is very clever with its playfulness in 1970's slasher-horror tropes, but once the killing starts, it just becomes a string of clichés. Plus I couldn't get over Mia Goth playing two roles. Seeing her in old-age make-up yanked me out every time.
NOPE
Starring Daniel Kaluuya, Keke Palmer, Steven Yuen, Michael Wincott, Brandon Perea and Keith David.
Written & Directed by Jordan Peele.
Jordan Peele knows how to take a benign setting and make it sinister, be it a WASPy dinner party in Get Out or Hands Across America in Us. Here, he points his camera at the outskirts of Hollywood. We follow the Haywood siblings (Daniel Kaluuya, Keke Palmer), who train horses for TV shows and commercials, and we have Jupiter's Claim, a third-rate theme park centered on Ricky "Jupe" Park (Steven Yuen), a child actor now making his living exploiting the projects of his youth.
If you've seen the preview, you know at some point aliens come into play. I'm glad that's the extent of what I knew about them, so I won't reveal more than that. This movie is about how these people on the ground deal with what's up in the sky. It's hard to pin down one theme of the movie. "Spectacle" is one. "Bad miracles" is another. There's also a theme about animals who can go wild, be it the horses who get spooked, or as we see in the opening scene, a chimpanzee gets triggered on a TV set and attacks the crew.
The chimp was on a 1990's sitcom where Ricky was one of the actors, one of the only ones the chimp didn't attack. It's obviously affected Ricky, but I thought the movie would tie the past and present together in some "everything falls into place" way in the third act, and that moment never came. Peele leaves a lot up to the audience to interpret.
While it had some decent scares in the middle, I'd say Get Out and Us were more suspenseful overall. This is his Signs. Signs was M. Night Shyamalan's third movie, and while it wasn't as good as The Sixth Sense or Unbreakable, it was still okay. There's a lot I liked about this movie, but whenever I think about it, its problems are what I think about first. About coincidences, and characters jumping to conclusions that only movie characters would do. And that shoe. We see a shoe unnaturally standing upright in a scene, but it's never explained what made it stand up and why that matters. But it apparently does, because they refer to it a couple times. For some reason...
I think my expectations were too high.
THOR: LOVE & THUNDER
Starring Chris Hemsworth, Christian Bale, Natalie Portman, Tessa Thompson, Russell Crowe and Taika Waititi.
Written by Taika Waititi & Jennifer Kaytin Robinson.
Directed by Taika Waititi.
This film doubles down on the humor from Thor: Ragnarok to uneven results. It became so silly and unserious that it grew tiresome. Christian Bale brings some real gravitas to Gorr the God Butcher but every scene he's not in might as well contain a laugh track. If Thor had started singing to cartoon birds, it wouldn't have felt out of place. I did enjoy sections of the movie here and there, but when you look at weaker MCU fare, if Eternals was too ponderous, this was too empty-headed.
THE GRAY MAN
Starring Ryan Gosling, Chris Evans, Ana de Arnas, Billy Bob Thornton, Jessica Henwick, Rene-Jean Page, Alfre Woodard, Wagner Moura, Dhanush and Julia Butters.
Written by Joe Russo, Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely.
Directed by Joe & Anthony Russo.
The action scenes are competent, the dialogue is quippy, the cast is charismatic, but the ingredients never add up to a satisfying whole. It doesn't feel substantive enough to have been based on a book. Ryan Gosling plays Six, an off-the-books assassin for the CIA who learns his latest target was an ex assassin like himself who had evidence that'll bring down the top brass in the CIA. Six goes on the run, and he's being targeted by Lloyd Hansen (Chris Evans), a scruple-free assassin in his own right who has no problem torturing and killing to accomplish his goals.
The Russos have directed Evans in some Captain America/Avengers movies, and he's having fun here as the villain. Everything on paper says this movie should have worked. It just evaporates as soon as it's over.
AMBULANCE
Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Eiza Gonzalez, Garrett Dillahunt and Keir O'Donnell.
Written by Chris Fedak.
Directed by Michael Bay.
Well, it's certainly better than 6 Underground. Michael Bay is at his Bayest in this movie about a bank robbery that goes wrong, and two of the thieves take an ambulance, including a paramedic and a wounded cop, on one long, long car chase through Los Angeles. Most of the chase is entertaining, as is Gyllenhaal clearly having fun as the more-unhinged robber, although I had a hard time believing this ambulance could just keep finding clear roads to drive on in the famously gridlocked city of LA. Not to mention, did it really need to be 135 minutes? Spoiler: never at any point does the ambulance transform into an Autobot.
SPIDERHEAD
Starring Chris Hemsworth, Miles Teller and Jurnee Smollet.
Written by Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick.
Directed by Joseph Kosinki.
Kosinki reunites with his Top Gun: Maverick star Miles Teller to tell a smaller tale of a low-security prison in the near future that gives its inmates a lot of luxuries in exchange for their voluntary participation in drug-test trials that affect their emotions. Hemsworth is the smiling yet sinister scientist running the experiments, while Teller is the main inmate who starts to wonder what these tests are really accomplishing. It's based on a short story, and if it had been pared down to an hour, it would made for a pretty cool Black Mirror episode. As is, it's fine. Like most Netflix movies these days, it goes down pleasantly without much that sticks on the bones once it's over.
THE ADAM PROJECT
Starring Ryan Reynolds, Mark Ruffalo, Jennifer Garner, Zoe Saldana and Walker Scobell.
Written by Jonathan Tropper, TS Nowlin, Jennifer Flackett & Mark Levin.
Directed by Shawn Levy.
Ryan Reynolds in straight-to-Netflix mode, as a man who goes back in time and meets his 12-year-old self. There were enough twists to keep me interested, but corners were definitely cut when it came to the special effects.
JACKASS FOREVER
Starring Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Ehren McGhehey and Eric Andre.
Directed by Jeff Tremaine.
I haven't seen the others, but I think y'all know what these are. Friends get together and torture each other with pranks and stunts that involve more than one groin injury. Sometimes the laughter is infectious; sometimes you just want to cover your face.
UNCHARTED
Starring Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg, Antonio Banderas and Sophia Ali.
Written by Rafe Judkins, Art Marcum, Matt Holloway, Jon Hanley Rosenberg & Mark D. Walker.
Directed by Ruben Fleischer.
It's about as deep as a National Treasure sequel but it's light-hearted and fun for a lot of the time too. Director Ruben Fleischer (Zombieland) knows how to keep things moving, even when the logic doesn't matter.
==THUMBS DOWN (7) ===
JURASSIC WORLD: DOMINION
Starring Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, DeWanda Wise, Mamoudou Athie, Isabella Sermon, Campbell Scott, BD Wong, Omar Sy and Justice Smith.
Written by Derrick Connolly, Emily Carmichael & Colin Trevorrow.
Directed by Colin Trevorrow.
The filmmakers wanted to make an epic conclusion to this Jurassic franchise 30 years in the making, and there is some clear global Mission Impossible style ambitions here. The problem is that it largely forgets about what we're all here to see - the dinosaurs!
Lewis Dodgson, the guy who wanted to steal some dino DNA and handed the fake shaving cream can to Nedry (Wayne Knight) in the first Jurassic Park movie, has managed to become the CEO of Biosyn, the global leader on dinosaur DNA research. He's now played by Campbell Scott, and of course he's also hired the scruple-free Dr. Wu (BD Wong) to help him out, but this time they may have gone too far. They've engineered some killer locusts with dino DNA and they've broken free and are destroying crops on a massive scale. And Wu might feel bad this time.
But that's really the third subplot. We have dinosaurs running loose all over the world thanks to the events of the previous film, and Owen (Chris Pratt) and Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) are living a secluded domestic life keeping human clone Maisie Lockwood from being found and exploited for her genes. Eventually though she gets kidnapped by mercenaries, and they go on the run to try to save her.
Meanwhile, Ellie (Laura Dern) has hunted down Alan Grant (Sam Neill) to help her study these giant locusts and track down proof that Biosyn is somehow behind it. They have an 'in' at the company. Turns out Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) is a paid consultant at Biosyn.
There's a lot of globetrotting, chase scenes, run-ins here and there with the dinos, but nothing for the first 100 minutes or so really gets the blood pumping. The special effects aren't any better than they were since the first trilogy, and the dinosaurs are such an afterthought that the entire marketing campaign feels like a deception. It's really the last half-hour when all of the characters meet up and we have a sustained rollercoaster of outrunning dinosaurs while trying to keep Maisie alive and keep the proof safe so Biosyn can be exposed for what they're doing.
It's not the worst Jurassic movie (that honor still belongs to Jurassic Park III), but as epic conclusions go, it's certainly a letdown. Then again, it's making so much money they could make another one if Universal so wanted.
BIG BUG
Starring Elsa Zylberstein, Isabelle Nanty, Claude Perron and Youssef Hajdi.
Written by Jean-Pierre Jeunet & Guillaume Laurant.
Directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet.
Bizarre French sci-fi flick set in the near future when AI robots run the government, resulting in oppressive rules for human citizens. It all takes place in one house and its low budget shows. Some of the robots look like cast-offs from MST3K.
THE BUNKER GAME
Starring Gaia Weiss, Lorenzo Richelmy, Mark Ryder and Tudor Istodor.
Written by Manuela Cacciamani, Francesca Forristal, Davide Orsini, KT Roberts & Roberto Zazzara.
Directed by Roberto Zazzara.
A group of people role-play as Nazis surviving in a post-1945 bunker, but when their game is over, people actually start dying, possibly by the hand of ghosts of Nazis past. Features a lot of characters wandering off by themselves to get offed one by one.
WINDFALL
Starring Lily Collins, Jesse Plemons and Jason Segel.
Written by Charlie McDowell, Jason Segel, Justin Leder & Andrew Kevin Walker.
Directed by Charlie McDowell.
Felt like it was conceived and shot during COVID. One man (Jason Segel) trespasses at the vacation home of a tech billionaire and holds him and his wife hostage when they come home early. A lot of talking ensues. It stays on the same level until the abrupt climax.
TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2022)
Starring Sarah Yarkin, Elsie Fisher, Alice Krige, Jacob Latimore and Olwen Fouere.
Written by Chris Thomas Devlin, Fede Alvarez & Rodo Sayagues.
Directed by David Blue Garcia.
This wanted to be what the latest Halloween movie was, complete with bringing back original survivor Sally (played by a different actress since Marilyn Burns died a few years ago), but it doesn't distinguish itself enough from any other Chainsaw reboot/remake/sequel.
HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 4: TRANSFORMANIA
Starring the voices of Andy Samberg, Selena Gomez, Kathryn Hahn and David Spade.
Written by Amos Vernon, Nunzio Randazzo & Genndy Tartakovsky.
Directed by Derek Drymon & Jennifer Kluska.
Adam Sandler and Kevin James didn't return for this one so it went straight to Amazon Prime (although it did go to some theaters later). This franchise has never been that strong on the quality side and it was so frenetic I felt like pausing it just to relax my heartbeat.
THE PRINCESS
Starring Joey King, Dominic Cooper, Olga Kurylenko and Ed Stoppard.
Written by Ben Lustig & Jake Thornton.
Directed by Le-Van Kiet.
A princess must battle her way to safety after she's been kidnapped. And as fun as it is to see Joey King (The Conjuring) dispatch villains while in her gorgeous white dress the first few times, the novelty wears off after a while. But the whole movie is pretty much one long chase scene with set pieces that seem straight from Kevin Sorbo's Hercules. The acting by everyone else is about that level too.
===WORST OF THE YEAR SO FAR (4)===
40. THE 355
Starring Jessica Chastain, Penelope Cruz, Diane Kruger, Lupita Nyong'o, Sebastian Stan, Bingbing Fan, Edgar Ramirez and Jason Flemyng.
Written by Theresa Rebeck & Simon Kinberg.
Directed by Simon Kinberg.
Amazing cast wasted on a third-rate 007 script that features female spies who can't hit the broad side of a barn when they shoot, and a lot of people get shot here. It's merely mediocre for most of it, but then the main villain does something so staggeringly stupid that it yanked me out for the rest of the movie. Simon Kinberg may be a really good producer (The Martian, Deadpool) but he's now directed Dark Phoenix and this, and my guess is he sticks to producing for a while.
41. FIRESTARTER
Starring Zac Efron, Ryan Keira Armstrong, Sydney Lemmon, Gloria Reuben, Kurtwood Smith and Michael Greyeyes.
Written by Scott Teems.
Directed by Keith Thomas.
The original wasn't that good, so I didn't see an issue with remaking it, but they weren't able to update the dated plot points for the 21st century in a way that made the story better. In fact, in many ways they made a worse movie. No supporting powerhouses like George C. Scott and Martin Sheen are here to lend gravitas to the film, and while I think she can have a future in acting, Ryan Keira Armstrong doesn't have the instant child-star-power Drew Barrymore did in the 1984 version.
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Starring Jared Leto, Matt Smith, Jared Harris, Adris Arjona, Tyrese Gibson and Al Madrigal.Written by Matt Sazama & Burk Sharpless.
Directed by Daniel Espinoza.
The central problem with this movie? Jared Leto, the screenwriters, and the director forgot to make the main character remotely interesting. He's a doctor who infects himself with something that make him vampiric, and Matt Smith is along for the ride to at least try to have fun as the villain, but it's all paint-by-numbers predictable from beginning to end.
43. THE ICE AGE ADVENTURES OF BUCK WILD
Starring the voices of Utkarsh Ambudkar, Sean Kenin, Aaron Harris and Simon Pegg.
Written by Jim Hecht, William Schifrin & Ray DeLaurentis.
Directed by John C. Donkin.
This straight-to-DisneyPlus sequel is as bad as any random early 1990's straight-to-DVD animated sequel Disney used to cynically crank out. If Ray Romano, Denis Leary and John Leguizamo won't come back to the do the voices, just don't do the movie.
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