My Worst Ten List in TV 2012

Dishonorable Mentions:

- All those reality shows I haven't seen more than five minutes of that are destroying America.  Honey Boo Boo, Toddlers & Tiaras, My Sweet 16, Teen Moms, Jersey Shore, and anything with a Kardashian.

- All those shows that want me to call in and vote.  No.  I'm done with you.

- NBC's Olympic coverage.  All those taped delays when we knew the results made no sense.

- That Sprint commercial where Dex plays the dad and he's trying to figure out a way for him to get the most data as if his kids make equal pay to him.  "You're the father.  You're paying the phone bill.  You rule the children out because they're the children."

- HBO's decision to cut 3/4 of the book Game Change, which was mainly about the 2008 primary race between Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John Edwards, and make it about Sarah Palin instead.

- Also, Whitney (NBC), Guys with Kids (NBC), Partners (CBS), Wilfred (FX), Ben & Kate (FOX), Fox & Friends (FNC), and Shameless (SHO) are bad shows, but they just didn't make my bottom ten.

Anyways, here's my worst ten list.  My rule is to not put anything in it this year that I put on it last year.

10. THE NEWSROOM (HBO) - The Newsroom could be really good. I mean, I watched every episode and I plan to watch season 2, but Aaron Sorkin needs some more people from the center and the right when he's writing these things.  Maybe they'd help him notice how annoying his long-winded grandstanding soapbox speeches can be.  And it isn't just the political one-sidedness of its presentation.  It's the mixing in of "screwball" comedy to make Emily Mortimer and Allison Pill look like dithering idiots.  It's the way characters over-explain everything to make sure the dumbest audience member gets the reference.  Sorkin's a really talented guy, and he's assembled a really talented cast, and I really hope he's learned some lessons from season 1 and doesn't double-down on everything that holds it back from being good.

9.  THE NEIGHBORS (ABC) - Obnoxious, wild-eyed sitcom about a family who find themselves in a neighborhood full of aliens.  A lot of people scream for comic effect on this show.

8. SEASON 1 of BRAND X with RUSSELL BRAND (FX) - I emphasize season 1, because it was horrible, but I saw the clip of season 2 of him interviewing the Westboro Baptist Church and found it funny and informative.  Season 1 though?  Painful.

7. TAKE IT ALL (NBC) - Howie Mandel returns to game-show hosting, on a show when encourages the worst in human decency.  Contestants compete for prizes, but when whittled down to the final two, they can choose to keep what they won or take it all.  If they both choose "take it all" no one wins anything.  If they both choose "keep mine" they both walk away winners.  If one chooses "keep mine" and the other chooses "take it all", the greedy one gets everything.  There was a version of this on GSN a few years ago, but alas, it's been resurrected.  Seems like the kind of game show Satan would create.  To every contestant who picks "take it all", you are why the terrorists hate us.

6. MARTIN BASHIR (MSNBC) - Plenty of cable news talking-heads are horses' rears.  Bashir is currently just the most insufferable, the kind where even those on his "side" recognize he's doing more harm than good, if doing anything at all.  Although fellow Brit Piers Morgan is doing a late push to overtake him as cable news' biggest prat.

5. GIRLS (HBO) - Whatever clever ideas this show might have, they're buried in sewage.  Lena Dunham has obvious talent, but my simile is that it's like eating a bag full of Harry Potter's every-flavor jelly beans, but 80% of them are vomit-flavored.

4. WORK IT (ABC) - A rehash of Bosom Buddies, and it's beyond me why anyone thought that was a good idea.  It was cancelled after two episodes.

3. ANGER MANAGEMENT (FX) - Charlie Sheen's comeback show is goofy, conventional, tedious and unfunny. Chuck Lorre has the last laugh on this feud.

2. ANIMAL PRACTICE (NBC) - Terrible sitcom in an animal hospital where no use of any animal was ever funny.  Justin Kirk, Joanna Garcia, Tyler Labine have all been better on other shows.

1. THE 2012 SUPER-PAC ADS - Didn't matter if they were true or not.  As far as substance went, the 2012 Presidential race was one of the most stupid, most shallow in history.  Amazing since there were so many important issues, but no, we got "Big Bird!", "You didn't build that!" and "Romney gave my wife cancer!"  It showed just how much contempt political players have for "the American people."

FX Thursday Night Lineup - TV Review

ANGER MANAGEMENT - Charlie Sheen's comeback after Two and a Half Men is another laughtrack show, and it's one where the writing isn't near what it should be.  It's actually a safer, blander show than Men, and it's just not funny.  Sheen runs an anger management support group, and the characters around the circle are stock (although it's amusing to watch Barry Corbin do his best Wilford Brimley).  The one-liners are groaners.  Grade: D

WILFRED - I gave up on this show last season, but I've seen the first two episodes, and I'm back in. It's found its voice.  It's much improved now that Elijah Wood's has a job and is no longer suicidal.  Grade: B

LOUIE - Sometimes it's barely a comedy; it's more of a melancholy reflection on mid-life life.  But it stays funny as it reveals truth.  I like how it blends the events of the episode into the stand-up act.  Seinfeld did it too, but that felt detached.  This is part of his life.  Grade: A-

BRAND X with RUSSELL BRAND - Russell Brand, that British comedian whose career's on its way down, now has a show where he takes the headlines of the day and improvs comedy from them, talking to the audience.  It's like he's working out material, but since Brand's worn out his welcome with me, I'd say it's quite skippable.  Grade: D-

Arthur - DVD Review

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Starring Russell Brand, Helen Mirren, Greta Gerwig, Jennifer Garner, Geraldine James, Luis Guzman, Nick Nolte and John Hodgman.
Directed by Jason Winer.

I liked the original. Never sullied its memory by seeing the sequel. But I have sullied its memory by seeing this.

Truth be told, as irritating as I might find Russell Brand in real life, he can be pretty funny in the movies. Forgetting Sarah Marshall, for example. And he has his moments here. But if anything this movie suffers from bad timing. I'm not a big fan of seeing millions of dollars go to waste, and as Arthur is a billionaire, he can afford to extravagant things, like rent out Grand Central Station. This movie made me think a national salary cap might be a good idea.

He's engaged to a gold-digging woman he doesn't love, but then he meets a sweet tour guide in a Diane Keaton hat. But if Arthur follows his heart, his mother will cut him off from his fortune. Oh, what will our little imp do?

Helen Mirren and Luis Guzman are amusing as his nanny and chaffeur, respectively. Are they worth making the rental? Not really.