Die Hard 5, Sin City 2, Megan Fox, etc.

- Don't cry for Megan Fox. She may have been fired from Transformers 3, but she has plenty of projects lined up. She just finished filming Friends with Kids with Kristen Wiig and Jon Hamm, then she has The Dictator with Sasha Baron Cohen (Borat), and then she'll be in Judd Apatow's next film This Is Forty, with Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Leslie Mann and Albert Brooks.

- John Moore (Max Payne) will direct Die Hard 5, to be set in Russia. Bruce Willis will indeed reprise his role as John McClane. Willis will then do the sequel to Red.

- William Monahan (The Departed) has been hired to polish the script for Sin City 2, to be co-directed by Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller.

- The Coen brothers' next directorial effort will be Inside Llewyn Davis, about a folk singer in the 1960's. They wrote but did not direct the remake of Gambit, opening next year. Gambit stars Colin Firth, Cameron Diaz, Alan Rickman and Stanley Tucci and is directed by Michael Hoffman (Soapdish, The Emperor's Club, The Last Station).

Nothing to Fear in the 'Dark'

DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK

l 1/2

Starring Katie Holmes, Guy Pearce, Bailee Madison and Jack Thompson.
Directed by Troy Nixey.

"Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" says the title. Oh don't worry. I won't be.

I did not like it. I thought there'd be some suspense somewhere. Never felt it. And the deeper I got into the movie, the less forgiving I was of its flaws.

I like to feel goosebumps in movies. I liked Paranormal Activity. I liked Insidious. I was expecting a PG-13 horror flick. This one never drew me in, and clumsy plot mechanics kept me at bay.

I have to do SPOILERS to really explain where I started to lose it...

....

First of all, the scene in the library, she takes several pictures that capture the creatures. There are polaroids everywhere laying on the ground when the adults rush in, not to mention she smashed the arm off of one of the creatures, and yet the adults don't look around, and suddenly we're in the next scene?! Wait a minute. She took a dozen picture of the things, and there's an arm on the ground of one of the beasties? And they just ignore it?

The librarian scene was terrible. The dialogue was exposition-city, but on top of that, if Katie Holmes's character is a big fan of Blackwood, shouldn't she already know basic biographical details about him, like that he had a son or that he disappeared and was never seen again?

Then the ending. If I am Guy Pearce, and I see Katie Holmes get sucked down a tunnel, I call the cops and send a rescue team DOWN THE FREAKING TUNNEL! I don't just give up. "Oh well. They got her. Let's foreclose this place."

But its biggest sin is the complete lack of tension.

The Warrior's Way - DVD Review

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Starring Jang Dong Gun, Kate Bosworth, Geoffrey Rush, Danny Huston, Tony Cox and Ti Lung. Directed by Sngmoo Lee.

I don't know what I expected but it wasn't a low-budget mixture of Leone, Fellini, and Chow. It's a movie that breaks down viewers' resistance and says "Come with me on this wild ride." It's one of those worlds where expert shooters are deadly accurate from impossible distances, and if you draw your sword, gravity will temporarily forget you. It's a martial-arts Western hybrid with mustache-twirling villains, a sad clown, and the scrappy young woman out to avenge her pa. Step right up.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes - Movie Review

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Starring James Franco, Andy Serkis, Frieda Pinto, John Lithgow, Brian Cox, Tom Felton, David Oleyowo and Tyler Labine.
Directed by Rupert Wyatt.

There is a universal theme that keeps surfacing in movies - the oppressed fighting back against the powerful. Sometimes it's a native who rises (Braveheart), sometimes it's someone who crosses over (Dances with Wolves, Avatar), but there's usually a central leader who inspires his masses to rise.

The tale may be as old as Pharaoah's adopted son Moses leading the slaves out of Israel, but when it's done right, it can be very powerful. So here we have a prequel no one was really clamoring for, but it's now the best in the series.

I mean, I like the Charlton Heston original, and I grinned at the plethora of in-jokes sprinkled throughout, but this for me was a landmark achievement in what we're calling motion-capture technology.

I can't praise Andy Serkis and the WETA team enough. There are still several spots where you can tell it's computer animation or not a real ape, but it's the best CGI performance on film to date. Serkis has been the motion-capture guy for Gollum and King Kong in Peter Jackson films past, but he is the star here as Caesar. James Franco may get top-billing, but it's The Serkis Show.

Franco plays Will Rodman, a scientist working on a cure for Alzheimer's. He cuts some corners in his desperation for a cure, as his father (John Lithgow) has Alzheimer's and is degenerating quickly. (Hooray for corner-cutting scientists! Imagine how many movies we wouldn't have if corner-cutting never happened.) One unexpected result from his drug testing is Caesar.

Caesar is a smart chimp that Will takes home to raise himself. Caesar knows he's not human, but he never really appreciates what it means to be an ape until he's forced to live among them.

The movie is largely character-based, and it builds nicely to a third-act showdown on the Golden Gate bridge. Director Rupert Wyatt (The Escapist) demonstrates his skill with acting, special effects, and action, and I'm stunned he doesn't already have his next job lined up. (My guess: the next Apes movie.) It's a concise, well-balanced movie, and just another good entry in what's been a surprisingly high-quality summer.

Limitless - DVD Review

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Starring Bradley Cooper, Robert DeNiro, Abbie Cornish, Anna Friel, Johnny Whitworth and Robert Burke. Directed by Neil Burger.

When a movie has such a good idea, I'm really rooting for them to be creative with it and take me places I didn't anticipate. While it never surprised me, other than one dumb move, this character handled his new powers pretty much the same way I'd like to think I would.

Bradley Cooper plays Eddie, a would-be novelist who's in a funk. He just can't seem to get his wheels spinning in life. But he's offered a chance. He's given an experimental pill that'll let him access 100% of his brain capacity. He takes it, and he's suddenly a genius.

The movie deals slickly with the boost of intelligence, and with the subtext of addiction. The science... meh, who cares, let's enjoy the ride. It's a great "what if" premise that ventures down some dangerous roads when some deadly people hunt him down to get their hands on his drug.

Friday's Box Office

For Friday August 26:

1. The Help - $4.4 million ($86.7) - 17 days
2. Colombiana - $3.75 - 1 day
3. Don't Be Afraid of the Dark - $3.63 - 1 day
4. Rise of the Planet of the Apes - $2.59 ($142.39) - 22 days
5. Our Idiot Brother - $2.37 - 1 day
6. Spy Kids 4 - $1.59 ($17.57) - 8 days
7. The Smurfs - 41.25 ($122.44) - 29 days
8. Crazy Stupid Love - $1 ($67.62) - 29 days
9. Fright Night - $.97 ($12.15) - 8 days
10. Conan the Barbarian - $.93 ($14.41) - 8 days

Weak competition is going to allow The Help to be #1 for the second week in a row, in its third week of release. The end of August/beginning of September is usually a dumping ground for studios, so it wouldn't surprise me if The Help is still in the top three next week.

Opening next week: Apollo 18, Shark Night, and The Debt.

ABC's Take the Money and Run - TV Review

I recorded an episode a month ago and just got around to watching it. It's a surprisingly addicting show. The premise is a duo has one hour to hide a briefcase containing $100,000. Then a pair of cops have 48 hours to find that briefcase. If they do, they get the money. The episode I saw, it was two brothers who hid the money, but one brother was weaker than the other, and he actually told the interrogators where they'd hid it about 30 hours in. It was jaw-dropping.

It's from Bertram van Munster, best known for producing The Amazing Race.

Talking of which, I tried watching Expedition Impossible, but it was way too much of an Amazing Race rip-off. Every time the host popped up, I'd think "I miss Phil Koeghan."

The Conspirator - DVD Review

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Starring James McAvoy, Robin Wright, Kevin Kline, Tom Wilkinson, Evan Rachel Wood, Danny Huston, Justin Long, Colm Meaney, Alexis Bledel, James Badge Dale, Toby Kebbell, Norman Reedus and Stephen Root. Directed by Robert Redford.

As a portrayal of historical events, this film is a valuable document. As its own entertainment, it never really comes to life.

The Civil War is finally over, and Pres. Abraham Lincoln has cause to celebrate, but before the nation can even exhale, he is shot in the back of the head. Quickly, John Wilkes Booth and his conspirators are chased down. Booth was killed, but the rest are on trial.

Only one on trial is Mary Surratt (Robin Wright), and as her reluctant lawyer Frederick Aiken (James McAvoy) quickly learns, she may be innocent after all. The movie is seen through Aiken's eyes, and the more convinced he becomes of Mary's innocence, the more the chips are frighteningly stacked against her.

If The Crucible was a response to the McCarthy hearings, then The Conspirator is a response to Guantanamo Bay. The parallels are too juicy. The nation is in fear, prisoners' right are ignored, a military tribunal judges instead of a civilian court, and the movie all but argues that Dick Cheney was War Secretary Edwin Stanton in a previous life.

One choice I wish Redford hadn't made: all the interior shots are done with realistic lighting, so that beams of light coming through the windows puts half of any room in shadow. Another is to keep Mary Surratt a cypher. Oh, Robin Wright makes you think more will be revealed about Mary, but it's never allowed to surface. It's all about the lawyer.

I support this being shown in high-school classrooms, but it is about at the level of your average Masterpiece Theater.

Weekend Box Office

Source: Box Office Mojo

1. The Help - $20.48 million ($71.8) - 2 wks (BV) -21.4%
. . . 2690 screens / $7613 per screen
2. Rise of the Planet of the Apes - $16.3 ($133.76) - 3 wks (Fox) -41.4%
. . . 3471 / $4696
3. Spy Kids 4 - $12.02 - 1 wk (Dim)
. . . 3295 / $3648
4. Conan the Barbarian - $10 - 1 wk (LG)
. . . 3015 / $3317
5. The Smurfs - $8 ($117.75) - 4 wks (Sony) -41.7%
. . . 3057 / $2617
6. Fright Night - $7.9 - 1 wk (BV)
. . . 3114 / $2537
7. Final Destination 5 - $7.71 ($32.33) - 2 wks (NL) -57.3%
. . . 3155 / $2442
8. 30 Minutes or Less - $6.3 ($25.76) - 2 wks (Sony) -52.7%
. . . 2888 / $2181
9. One Day - $5.13 - 1 wk (Foc)
. . . 1719 / $2983
10. Crazy Stupid Love - $4.95 ($64.42) - 4 wks (WB) -29.8%
. . . 1940 / $2552
11. Harry Potter 7 Pt. 2 - $4.41 ($365.9) - 6 wks (WB) -39.3%
. . . 1738 / $2535
12. Cowboys & Aliens - $4.19 ($89.48) - 4 wks (U) -46.3%
. . . 2213 / $1895
13. Captain America - $4.1 ($164.73) - 5 wks (Par) -43.1%
. . . 1988 / $2062
14. The Change-Up - $2.87 ($32.02) - 3 wks (U) -54.4%
. . . 1633 / $1760
15. Glee The 3D Concert Movie - $1.83 ($10.46) - 2 wks (Fox) -69%
. . . 1982 / $921
16. Horrible Bosses - $1.32 ($112.62) - 7 wks (NL) -45.9%
. . . 755 / $1748
17. Sarah's Key - $.78 ($3.09) - 5 wks (Wein) +61.1%
. . . 201 / $3896
18. Midnight in Paris - $.59 ($50.65) - 14 wks (SPC) - 16.4%
. . . 258 / $2279
19. Transformers 3 - $.58 ($348.52) - 8 wks (Par) -57.8%
. . . 484 / $1209
20. Friends with Benefits - $.55 ($54.73) - 5 wks (SG) -70.2%
. . . 413 / $1332

The Change-Up - Movie Review

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Starring Ryan Reynolds, Jason Bateman, Leslie Mann, Olivia Wilde, Alan Arkin, Gregory Itzin and Craig Bierko. Directed by David Dobkin.

Freaky Friday. Switch. Like Father Like Son. Vice Versa. 18 Again. 17 Again. 13 Going on 30. Big. Dream A Little Dream. Face/Off.

Body-switching movies have been a staple of movies of late, drawing inspiration from Shakespeare's disguise comedies to Twain's The Prince and the Pauper. It has limitless possibilities in humor, in situations, but the actors and the writers have to be good to set it apart from the pack.

What surprised me most was how different Reynolds and Bateman actually are, and how much fun they have taking on the other's persona. Reynolds plays Mitch, an aspiring-actor slacker ladies-man man-child airhead. Bateman is the hard-working husband, father, lawyer Dave who still enjoys Mitch in his life because they can go get drunk together, and Dave can live vicariously through hearing of Mitch's single-life exploits.

One fateful night, they get drunk and go pee in a fountain while wishing they had the other one's life, and the next morning, hijinks ensue.

This movie goes to some gross places, and that's its biggest weakness. Vulgarity for its own sake is not funny, and it undermines the sweetness they try to being full-circle in the third act. I will also say there is some CGI manipulation with Dave's twin babies that lands on the believability spectrum somewhere between Baby Geniuses and the E-Trade commercials. I know it's odd to bring up believability in a body-switching movie, but I will give the movie the laws of the universe its sets up for itself. I will give you a magic fountain that can switch bodies; I can't give you a six-month-old that can swish a knife around like a ninja.

The supporting cast is able to have some fun too. Leslie Mann has solid comedic and dramatic reactions to the changes in her husband, and Olivia Wilde is the object of desire at work who reveals a whole different side to herself when she agress to go out with "Mitch." Gregory Itzin (24) does the late Ted Knight proud as he bulges his eyes at the outrageousness "Dave" displays at work.

There's a lot here that's fun, and funny, and it's tragic to me that those parts are grafted in to terrible choices that drag it down.

Random Entertainment News 8/18/11

- Director Tony Scott (Unstoppable) plans to next direct a Hell's Angels movie, but he wants Jeff Bridges. If Bridges agrees, Scott has to wait until he's done filming R.I.P.D. and The Seventh Son. Scott also plans on remaking The Wild Bunch, the 1969 Sam Peckinpah western that starred William Holden and Ernest Borgnine.

- Director Shawn Levy (Date Night) will meet with Will Smith about starring in his Fantastic Voyage remake. Sources say if Smith doesn't sign and Fox can't find another A-lister soon, Levy will likely move on from the production.

- A third Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie is coming, scheduled to open August 3, 2012. Zachary Gordon, Rachael Harris, Steve Zahn, Devon Bostick and Robert Capron will all return.

- Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn will star in Neighborhood Watch, a sci-fi comedy about a suburban "neighborhood watch" group that serves as a front for guys' night out. But the guys then accidentally uncover a plot to destroy the world. It opens July 27, 2012.

- NBC has cancelled The Marriage Ref, which drew less then 3 million viewers this week.

The Roommate - DVD Review

l 1/2

Starring Leighton Meester, Minka Kelly, Cam Gigandet, Aly Michalka, Billy Zane, Daneell Harris and Frances Fisher.
Directed by Christian E. Christiansen.

I will start with the positive. Leighton Meester has an "it" quality about her, and I'd be interested in seeing her do something else.

But here the script does her no favors. This is in every way a remake of Single White Female, even if no one wants to admit it. There's no insight into the psychology of the character. She's just nuts and does what the plot needs her to do.

So Meester is in the Jennifer Jason Leigh role, and Minka Kelly is in the Bridget Fonda role. They're roommates at college, only one has an unhealthy liking of the other.

This movie features Cam Gigandet giving blue-steel face, Billy Zane as a colossally stupid fashion professor, and Frances Fisher as yet another mother of a psycho. Does it have suspense? The soundtrack thinks so, but no.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules - DVD Review

ll 1/2

Starring Zachary Gordon, Devon Bostick, Robert Capron, Rachael Harris and Steve Zahn. Directed by David Bowers.

Not quite as good as last year's first Wimpy Kid movie, and therefore still isn't as enjoyable as the books, but there are worse kid movies out there.

Where the first movie focussed mainly on Greg's adjustment to school, this one centers mostly on the relationship between Greg and his older brother Rodrick. Rodrick's a cretinous bully of a brother, in the tradition of The Wonder Years, but as the movie moves through its episodic scenes, they develop a mutual understanding.

It had one good gag I laughed at. And I was shocked when his family went to church. Usually people only go to church in movies when they're having their enemies killed elsewhere, or they're about to go fight some winged demons.

Arthur - DVD Review

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Starring Russell Brand, Helen Mirren, Greta Gerwig, Jennifer Garner, Geraldine James, Luis Guzman, Nick Nolte and John Hodgman.
Directed by Jason Winer.

I liked the original. Never sullied its memory by seeing the sequel. But I have sullied its memory by seeing this.

Truth be told, as irritating as I might find Russell Brand in real life, he can be pretty funny in the movies. Forgetting Sarah Marshall, for example. And he has his moments here. But if anything this movie suffers from bad timing. I'm not a big fan of seeing millions of dollars go to waste, and as Arthur is a billionaire, he can afford to extravagant things, like rent out Grand Central Station. This movie made me think a national salary cap might be a good idea.

He's engaged to a gold-digging woman he doesn't love, but then he meets a sweet tour guide in a Diane Keaton hat. But if Arthur follows his heart, his mother will cut him off from his fortune. Oh, what will our little imp do?

Helen Mirren and Luis Guzman are amusing as his nanny and chaffeur, respectively. Are they worth making the rental? Not really.

Weekend Box Office

1. Rise of the Planet of the Apes - $27.5 million - 1 wk (Fox)
. . . 3691 screens / $7451 per screen
2. The Help - $25.53 ($35.4) - 1 wk (BV)
. . . 2534 / $10,073
3. Final Destination 5 - $18.4 - 1 wk (NL)
. . . 3155 / $5832
4. The Smurfs - $13.5 ($101.55) - wks (Sony) -34.8%
. . . 3427 / $3939
5. 30 Minutes or Less - $13 - 1 wk (Sony)
. . . 2888 / $4501
6. Cowboys & Aliens - $7.61 ($81.48) - 3 wks (U) -51.6%
. . . 3310 / $2300
7. Captain America - $7.13 ($156.89) - 4 wks (Par) -45.3%
. . . 2835 / $2513
8. Crazy Stupid Love - $6.93 ($55.4) - 3 wks (WB) -42.3%
. . . 2635 / $2630
9. Harry Potter 7 Pt 2 - $6.88 ($356.96) - 5 wks (WB) -44.8%
. . . 2414 / $2848
10. The Change-Up - $6.22 ($25.75) - 2 wks (U) -54%
. . . 2913 / $2135
11. Glee The 3D Concert Movie - $5.7 - 1 wk (Fox)
. . . 2040 / $2794
12. Horrible Bosses - $2.44 ($110.01) - 6 wks (NL) -46.8%
. . . 1338 / $1824
13. Friends with Benefits - $1.8 ($53.03) - 4 wks (SG) -61.6%
. . . 1294 / $1391
14. Transformers 3 - $1.35 ($347.23) - 7 wks (Par) -56.3%
. . . 886 / $1524
15. Zookeeper - $1 ($75.8) - 6 wks (Sony) -53.9%
. . . 748 / $1337

Jumping the Broom - DVD Review

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Starring Angela Bassett, Paula Patton, Laz Alonso, Loretta Devine, Meagan Good, Julie Bowen, Mike Epps, Tasha Smith and Brian Stokes Mitchell. Directed by Salim Akil.

This bland wedding-day movie never justifies its existence. Having cast members like Mike Epps hints it might be a comedy, and we know there are going to be some dramatic revelations, but it's so lightweight and inconsequential, I can't recommend it.

It centers around a rich girl marrying a middle-class guy, and so we get some class-warfare glares from rich matriarch Angela Bassett and working-mom Loretta Devine. There are several subplots with different members pairing off, and one big revelation that comes at the end of Act II that threatens to derail the marriage because all wedding-day movies have a big revelation at the end of Act II that threatens to derail the marriage.

I can't say it's funny, and the drama's not juicy either. It's a great cast in a greeting card of a movie.

TV Actor Salaries

TVGuide had an article showing what the television industry people make, and one numbers jumped out at me. Ashton Kutcher is getting $700,000 per episode for Two and a Half Men. He has yet to have an episode of his air, and yet he's now the highest-paid comedy actor on television.

Some others:

Comedy
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men - $600,000 per episode
Dan Castellanata, The Simpsons - $400,000 per episode
Tina Fey, 30 Rock - $350,000 per episode
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock - $300,000 per episode
Angus T. Jones, Two and a Half Men - $250,000 per episode
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory - $250,000 per episode
Johnny Galecki, The Big bang Theory - $250,000 per episode
James Spader, The Office - $125,000 per episode
Ed O'Neill, Modern Family - $105,000 per episode

Drama
Hugh Laurie, House - $700,000 per episode
Mark Harmon, NCIS - $500,000 per episode
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: SVU - $395,000 per episode
Davis Caruso, CSI Miami - $375,000 per episode
Simon Baker, The Mentalist - $300,000 per episode
Patrick Dempsey, Grey's Anatomy - $275,000 per episode
Ted Danson, CSI - $225,000 per episode
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife - $180,000 per episode
Jon Hamm, Mad Men - $175,000 per episode
Kathy Bates, Harry's Law - $175,000 per episode
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad - $125,000 per episode
Nathan Fillion, Castle - $100,000 per episode

Also noteworthy across TV, Judge Judy makes $45 million a year from her syndication deal. David Letterman makes $28 million a year, Matt Lauer makes $17 million a year, Ryan Seacrest makes $15 million a year, Bill O'Reilly and Keith Olbermann each make $10 million a year, and to occasionally show up as an analyst, Fox News pays Sarah Palin $1 million a year.

The Smurfs - Movie Review

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Starring Neil Patrick Harris, Hank Azaria, Jayma Mays, Sofia Vergara, Tim Gunn, and the voices of Jonathan Winters, Katy Perry, Anton Yelchin, Alan Cumming, Fred Armsien, George Lopez and Frank Welker. Directed by Raja Gosnell.

I'll admit I saw every episode of the first few season of the Smurfs when I was younger, at least up until they introduced the country smurfs, Baby Smurf, Grandpa Smurf, and so forth. I was getting older, and it felt like a shark-jumping move. But I still remember Papa, Smurfette, Brainy, Clumsy, Jokey, Hefty, Handy, Greedy, Vanity, Grouchy, Lazy, Harmony, Poet, Painter, Natural, etc. Always felt like there was limitless story potential there.

But the movie decides to take the Enchanted route. Gargamel (Hank Azaria) at long last finds the Smurf village, but in running from him, six Smurfs take a path they've never seen before and wind up going through a portal that opens up every blue moon. The six (Papa, Smurfette, Brainy, Grouchy, Clumsy, and Gutsy) dive through, followed by Gargamel and his cat Azriel. They land in New York's Central Park.

Cut to Neil Patrick Harris, a likeable host for our B-story. He plays Patrick, expectant father and stressed-out marketing manager for Angelou, THE cosmetics chain of New York. Sofia Vergara is his boss from hell, a combo of Meryl Streep's Prada-wearing devil with a little of Horrible Bosses' Kevin Spacey thrown in. He's about to launch a new ad campaign, and so having these little blue guys show up in his apartment becomes a great inconvenience.

And an inconvenience is all it really is. After the "Aaaahh!" wears off, he goes back to business as usual, like they just inherited six puppies. It's all about worrying about his job.

I found the whole thing watchable. I enjoyed Azaria's commitment to playing a live-action cartoon. It's geared for kids and wasn't too bad for adults with nostalgia. If you have no nostalgia for them, then it'll probably be boring.