Larry H. Miller - If you're going to let a veteran out of his contract, do it on the condition that he not go to a Western Conference playoff team.
Jerry Sloan - Complaining about the tactics of the other team to the media is part of the coach's job. Phil Jackson didn't win nine rings by saying "I have no problem with how the other team plays, and I'm sure it'll be a clean game."
Deron Williams - Do not respect your elders. Treat any point guard in front of you like a trash-talkin', street-ballin' punk who needs to be humiliated.
Andrei Kirilenko - Get your Visa issues resolved before the post-season.
Carlos Boozer - The guys guarding you are more likely to get in foul trouble if you go into them instead of trying fade-away jumpers.
Mehmet Okur - You can play offense and defense in the same quarter.
Ronnie Brewer - You're going to be called for a foul if you touch Kobe so you might as well slap that pinky as hard as you can when you do.
Paul Millsap - Hard work results in big paydays. Get your agent to find the best overinflated offer he can.
Ronnie Price - I know you only get four minutes a game, but you need to play like you expect twelve.
Kyle Korver - Being a great natural shooter doesn't mean in the playoffs anything you throw up there is going to go in. Aim.
Matt Harpring - Hard-nosed D is never a bad thing.
Jason Hart, CJ Miles, Jarron Collins - Don't get too comfy. Morris Almond and Kyrylo Fesenko need spots on this roster next year, and you did nothing to show it shoudn't be your spot.
The team in general - Home-court throughout the playoffs is the only way to go, so quit losing road games to Minnesota, Miami, New York, etc. And making the All-Star team is not an excuse to fade in the post-season (I'm looking at you, Okur-07 and Boozer-08!)
Jazz fans - It would probably be more intimidating if you ignored Kobe, except laugh hysterically everytime he misses a shot. And even if you think Fisher used his daughter's illness as an excuse to get out of his contract and join the loathsome Lakers, still cheer him during introductions.