Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The Worst of TV 2013

Dishonorable Mentions:

- 2 Broke Girls (CBS) - More like 2 Unfunny Girls, am I right?
- Betrayal (ABC) - Unlikable soap about two married people who have an affair. Meh.
- Community (NBC) - Sharp drop in quality without Dan Harmon at the helm.
- Sean Saves the World (NBC) - Sean's overacting feels so 2003.
- Super Fun Night (ABC) - Felt like an Ally McBeal ripoff, but with a plump star instead of an anorexic one.
- Under the Dome (CBS) - It started out really good, and it got a little worst with each episode. It also strayed farther from the book with each episode, and so by the season finale, it was exhibiting the worst of series like Heroes where you got the feeling the writers didn't know what their end-game was either.
- "We Saw Your Boobs" gets a full song-and-dance at the Oscars, but if anyone's speech goes more than 15 seconds, they start playing them off.

10. JFK COVERAGE - Sheesh, Baby Boomer Media, get over yourselves.

9. DOES SOMEONE NEED TO GO? (Fox) - Tone-deaf reality show that pits employees at companies against each other.  Our economy is still one where most people feel lucky to have a job, and yet here's one encouraging co-workers to get each other fired.

8. DISNEY CHANNEL TRAINING-WHEEL SITCOMS - The laugh-tracks, the posing, the relentless synergistic product placement... is it a wonder that creativity in our youth has dropped?

7. SAVE ME (NBC) - Anne Heche at her ever-mugging worst.

6. SHARKNADO (SyFy) - It was awesome! I mean, it was terrible, but it was so cool to have Twitter unite to celebrate the so-bad-they're-good creature-features SyFy cranks out.  Acting giants Tara Reid and Ian Ziering have their new careers solidified.

5. WHODUNNIT (ABC) - Cheesy reality game-show where contestants gather in a house and they start getting "killed" one by one, including contestants reacting like they're finding real dead bodies.

4. BRICKLEBERRY (COM) - Cartoon swill about a national park; it's Yogi Bear with dirty jokes.

3. DADS (FOX) - Offensive, wrong-headed, unfunny waste of everyone's time and talents. Can't believe this hasn't been cancelled yet.

2. MSNBC - A Pew study has shown that only 15% of the channel is news and 85% of it is opinion.  Compare that to Fox News (45%/55%) and CNN (54%/46%).  It's become an astonishingly extreme echo chamber, embarrassing to the NBC brand and anyone not far to the left.  From Bashir advocating that someone should defecate into Palin's mouth to Schultz insisting we're headed for a second Confederacy to their hosts finding everything racist, they have turned into something much worse than just being the anti-Fox.

1. SHOWTIME - I became a Showtime subscriber but because I have Dish, they won't let me watch their shows online or On Demand. So the only way I can legally watch Ray Donovan is to pay hundreds of dollars to early terminate and switch providers. Way to go, Showtime! I hear Dexter and Homeland had bad seasons anyway.

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