Friday the 13th - Movie Review

FRIDAY THE 13TH (**) - Starring Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Amanda Righetti, Derek Mears, Travis Van Winkle and Aaron Yoo.
Directed by Marcus Nispel.

A remake? A reboot? A reimagining? Whatever you call it, they've gone the Superman Returns route. They're pretending the first two or three movies happened, and we're picking up from there. Forget The Final Chapter, and Parts 5-8, and Jason going to hell or getting shot into space or fighting Freddy Krueger.

Unfortunately the makers didn't choose to reboot enough, reimagine enough. The Friday the 13th franchise has always been a lame series. Jason is a symbol, but he has never been scary. The movies have never been scary. It's always been a excuse to get horny teens together and then kill them off one by one because they're all stupid, wandering off in the dark by themselves. Jason doesn't run because he doesn't have to.

So from the guys who took the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and put the horror back in horror movie, I was wondering if they could do something with Jason. They were able to add a little spookiness, and any changes they wanted to make, I was on board for. Jason keeps prisoners now? Okay. Jason's a little smarter here, though he still doesn't make a sound. If his victim's running away, he's okay with running. I don't think we've ever seen where he lives before, but we do in this one.

Buuut, they didn't change enough. There's still a bunch of honry teens (played by a bunch of 25-year-olds) who get together and engage in mindless conversation, bong-hitting, and then pairing off. There are only three characters who generate any sympathy, so we know the rest of them are going to hacked off; it's just a matter of when and where. I cared about more of the characters in Jason X. The killin' order is as predictable as anything. And the ending has Jason dead, but with a "is he really?" moment to leave things open for a sequel.

I can't say this is any better that part 6 or 7, so what was the point? Besides truckloads of money, I mean.